I love listening to whale songs. My favourite genre is the Blues.
05.03.2026 22:22
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I love listening to whale songs. My favourite genre is the Blues.
FLEA MARKET SELLER: You drive a hard bargain.
ME: Actually it’s a Kia Sportage. Is Hard Bargain a Swedish car? Sounds Swedish. Anyway thanks for the deal on these whale song cd’s.
Bananas is actually the one fruit I haven’t gone.
*secretly replaces your chapstick with a glue stick*
*makes it rain DNRs
those companies you’ve never heard of but they say they’ve been around since 1929 in their commercial
Used a meat thermometer to check my temperature. I think I hit a lung.
Is it markwaynes or markswayne
I hate people who act like they're smarter than me just because they went to a fancy college and have a higher IQ and are gooder at thinkings.
I wouldn't try logging off you don't want to know what happened to the last guy
Lift up your dudes,my dudes
if they make you block your friends, you might be in a cult. if you blindly obey, you’re right where you belong.
I make up in my head how someone feels about me and believe it.
blew every red light
I got 99 likes but I bet you ain't one
Bananas is actually the one fruit I haven’t gone.
How I feel when someone blocks me
I’m a vessel for meat in all sorts of ways.
Used a meat thermometer to check my temperature. I think I hit a lung.
captain anxious and the anxieteers
no longer allowed to listen to Wake Me Up Before You Go Go while pumping gas
BOSS: We need you to think about your attire.
MICHELIN MAN: A tire! Got it!
Got invited to watch the Love is Blind reunion early, and I’m just gonna ride this high until further notice
If you're dumb enough to play hide and seek with a ghost, here's a clue. They always win.
I'm always confused by people who block me for limiting replies.
It's like, "So you, too, actually DO believe in users' rights to set boundaries for who interacts with them?"
Photo of Beyond Sausage that is beyond sausage and closer to penises.
Thursday vibe. Not close to meat. Beyond meat
Pirates caught me sniffing around their booty again.
*raises the bar*
Bar: “put me down”