Jalapeño sourdough, Munster, havarti, pepper jack w/ choice of dip

soon we’ll be receiving spam phone calls from kristi noem telling us our shield of america warranty is about to expire

A Reductress post features a photo of Kristi Noem with the headline, “Kristi Noem Put Down for Being Too Hard to Train”

Screaming

Who’s got dibs on the top?

a man holds a walkie talkie in front of a poster for cesar millan ALT: a man holds a walkie talkie in front of a poster for cesar millan

“I’m in. Over.”

a marsh but it’s full of mallows omg

ICE recruits should be the first ones shipped off for “war.”

My favorite part of the work day is getting home and laying around with my tits out for awhile to recover

The world could be such a nice place if we allowed it. It's all so goddamn unnecessary. There's no need for any of it. It's so beautiful here. It should be so cool to be alive

Sorry can’t, I’m spooning my dog.

We are all meant for the flies

eating mcdonalds for a whole month so it shoots out like FlexSeal

[calling timeout for just a sec] is this circle jerk bipartisan?

Fixing my problems one slice of cheese at a time.

If you would walk a thousand miles just to be the man who wound up at my door I’m sure as fuck not answering it

A picture of 11 cheese sticks individually wrapped and connected together resting on the underside of my forearm.

20's: sheets of acid

50's: sheets of cheese sticks

The SOTU is an absolute joke

New Jersey has proposed the F.U.C.K.I.C.E Act. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/21/n...

I smoke to remember

You just cut off the strange bits and move on with your life

“We are watching one of the wildest things a nation-state has ever done," journalist Garrett Graff wrote: "A superpower … suicide because the [Repub] Congress is too cowardly to stand up to the Mad King. This is one of the wildest moments in all of geopolitics ever.”

@hcrichardson.bsky.social

I woke up at 3am last night, and still half asleep, had a thought that I JUST HAD TO WRITE DOWN. Pretty sure I’d just won the Internet, I fell back asleep.

In the morning, I was greeted with this gem on my phone:

“2 ninjas are called a pair of sneakers.”

You’re all welcome.

Told the barista my name is "It's gonna be okay." She keeps saying it. I'm on the floor crying

The scream but with the former prince Andrew's horrified l'm being arrested face

Y’know I don’t even want a president anymore.

mine is this one

the purpose of a rube goldberg machine is what it does eventually

back in my day, beans used to be a lot cooler

Thine own shart be true