asaltz.bsky.social

Ear doctor: Don’t use Q-Tips
Me already imagining putting a screw driver I found in the driveway in my ear when I get home: I womt

we appear to have four competing fascist movements jockeying for control: blood & soil nazism under miller and hegseth, darwinian ecofascism from rfk, technofascism under vance and musk, and one Big Wet Hitler who understands the true animating core of the american volk is a deep love for shopping

@weatherfactory.biz

What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss? Anton Chigurh here for FanDuel,

No Kings includes Draft Kings

Don’t anyone show this to Susan or I’m never gonna be allowed to get an outdoor wok burner

That Casio might make me a watch guy

“(This is how men behave.)”

It is not how men behave. It is how creeps behave. I swear to god, nobody is as eager to torch the reputation of men as men are.

Happy Tu B'Shvat to everyone but especially trees.

idea i had

Baby YouTube thumbnail depicting a vanishing mommy. Baby will explain how peekaboo works

The Surprising Physics behind Mommy

Moved beyond words by the courage and resolve shown by the people of Minneapolis

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

I know this kind of hypocrisy isn’t the most important thing, but it’s driving me nuts!

All the great Philly sports accounts post about their teams in a way where you can almost smell the plugged-in toaster next to the bathtub

Return of the Cmonma... @cmon... ・4mo Cmonstermack y @cmon... • 44m Little known fact about the general from the general car insurance is that he once slapped around a soldier suffering from ptsd, called him a coward and sent him to the front. No amount of savings can make up for that imo • THE***** GENERAL. INSURANCE 171 © 10| Triball@triball.bsky.social • 1m Do You know when? Which year? €70 ... Cmonstermack 延k @cmonmack.bsky.social 8. - 11s ... It was during wartime. ALT → 29 ≥ 116 • 1.2K 仚 ..• msmuffet6754.bsky.s. @msmuff... • 4mo "During War Time", is not proof. ALT ₴ 94 829 贝 仚 Follow back Troy @troyleekelly.bsky.social PTSD was not recognized until 1980.

😭

There’s a nice passage in the Momofuku book about how much the author’s Korean ancestors would have appreciated shrimp and grits or country ham.

I like them because they terrify dogs 👍

ME: team rocket will never steal these rare Pokémon! Not unless they wanna take on me and my fully evolved Miss Cigarettes!
MISS CIGARETTES: miss cigarettes

Need an abbreviation for “c’mon now-ed out loud”

We got Weird Al out here singing Killing In The Name, the time for moderation is over

I have never felt more patriotic

Today is the day to repost this meme about International Men's Day, one of the most unironically wholesome memes that has ever been made.

Shoutout to all my fellow champs, chiefs, and kings. ✊

Burger King in Yellow

A selection from Lincoln’s address at Cooper Union: “Will they be satisfied if the Territories be unconditionally surrendered to them? We know they will not. In all their present complaints against us, the Territories are scarcely mentioned. Invasions and insurrections are the rage now. Will it satisfy them, if, in the future, we have nothing to do with invasions and insurrections? We know it will not. We so know, because we know we never had anything to do with invasions and insurrections; and yet this total abstaining does not exempt us from the charge and the denunciation. The question recurs, what will satisfy them? Simply this: We must not only let them alone, but we must somehow, convince them that we do let them alone. This, we know by experience, is no easy task. We have been so trying to convince them from the very beginning of our organization, but with no success. In all our platforms and speeches we have constantly protested our purpose to let them alone; but this has had no tendency to convince them. Alike unavailing to convince them, is the fact that they have never detected a man of us in any attempt to disturb them. These natural, and apparently adequate means all failing, what will convince them? This, and this only: cease to call slavery wrong, and join them in calling it right. And this must be done thoroughly - done in acts as well as in words. Silence will not be tolerated - we must place ourselves avowedly with them. Senator Douglas' new sedition law must be enacted and enforced, suppressing all declarations that slavery is wrong, whether made in politics, in presses, in pulpits, or in private. We must arrest and return their fugitive slaves with greedy pleasure. We must pull down our Free State constitutions. The whole atmosphere must be disinfected from all taint of opposition to slavery, before they will cease to believe that all their troubles proceed from us.”

Lincoln has this figured out 160ish years ago. It isn’t enough for them to get their way, they will only be happy when those who opposed them stop suggesting they are wrong and instead concede they are right.

People say Boston is a white city because they don’t know Boston is a city in a majority minority metro where the Taiwanese American mayor succeeds in part because she campaigns in Haitian Kreyòl