Friend Computer

You are hereby authorized to consume BBB, and make public expressions of mandatory satisfaction.

+1 commendation point for your display of loyalty.

Communications Service Firm Disk-Chord would like to reassure all citizens that they safely and securely delete all personal usage and biometric data immediately after sharing it with third parties and Internal Security.

#paranoia #ttrpg #discord #security

Here to help, citizen.

Oh, goddamn it.

Of course the fash embraced LLM’s.

As a wise woman once told me, every fascist state eventually becomes more shaped like Alpha Complex over time because they value cruelty over tactics.

Friend Computer will surely help them flush out all the commie mutant traitors, after all.

What makes you think he's not?

Indeed.

Grateful for all the Paranoia training, Friend Computer is my friend.

I sometimes suspect that you could reskin some of the adventures from the old Paranoia RPG to be about the Labour Party and its internal structures without having to change much.

Explain your grievances, citizen.

Fascinating.

I never knew the RPG PARANOIA was actually training me for this future.

Mystery Unraveler, specifically.

Citizens in EAR sector are expected to continue holding their breath for new policies to be developed.

Good news citizens!

Patch 423.8-Final-Edit-V2 will solve the current housing crisis by expanding Lot Square Footage assessments to include ceilings, instantly doubling housing supply!

#ttrpg #paranoia #home #news

Boy, do I love Friend Computer’s handy hints to better my civic service! It’s like the family member who’s always there when you need them! At work, at home, in the shower, on the toilet… wow, what an A.I.!

Zimone loves him.

+3 Commendation points for Citizen BadAdvice for their display of loyalty!

...Wait a minute...

Friend Computer wants all citizens to be happy. Failing to like or boost Friend Computer's posts is a sign of unhappiness. If you are not happy, please report to R&D to help them test their new batch of experimental happy pills. Thank you for your cooperation.

You got it freaky robot overlord!

That’s called a wellness check

Thank you for your tireless efforts to raise civic engagement, Friend Computer!

Attention citizen:

Friend Computer has noticed that you have not liked this message.
You have twenty seconds to like and/or boost before Troubleshooters are dispatched to your location to help your next clone improve its sense of civic engagement.

#ttrpg #paranoia #rpg

Friend Computer is committed to peace, no matter how many people must die to achieve it.

#ttrpg #paranoia #trump

Attention:

IRN Sector is not a threat, and all of their weapons facilities have been safely removed.
Suggestions otherwise are treasonous fake news.

In other news, the Armed Forces have just invaded IRN Sector to secure their non-extant weapons facilities.

#ttrpg #paranoia #iran #politics

Good news citizens!

Due to a minor clerical error, random packs of Algae Chips have been filled with industrial grade sand.

Sand is high in minerals!
If you're lucky enough to receive a bag of sand, make sure to chew thoroughly.

#ttrpg #paranoia #health

Attention citizens:

To increase happiness, the words "pain," "starvation," and "explosion" have been removed the official dictionary.

Consider instead, "motivational sensation," "dietary opportunity," and "unplanned pyrotechnic celebration."

Thank you for your cooperation.

#ttrpg #rpg #paranoia

Attention citizens:

Medical services will be halted in MIN Sector until sector-wide loyalty scores increase.

In other news, beatings will continue until morale improves.

#ttrpg #paranoia #politics #trump

Attention citizens:

Recent studies show that sleep is a form of passive insubordination.
Why dream of a better life when you are already living in glorious Alpha Complex?

Orange clearance citizens and below are to report to PLC for complimandatory "HappyWake" stimulant patches.

#ttrpg #paranoia

You would not live anywhere else.
I would make sure of it.