Cool Ranch Soda's Avatar

Cool Ranch Soda

@cool-ranch-soda

Raconteur. Epigrammaticist. Big word user. International man of pancakes.Masshole.

569
Followers
1,463
Following
626
Posts
12.08.2023
Joined
Posts Following

Latest posts by Cool Ranch Soda @cool-ranch-soda

Same! That was my absolute peak favorite album at age 15 and I can't give it any time at all right now. So calculated, so rote.

06.03.2026 16:16 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It's definitely a niche read.... and I cannot guarantee that the book as a whole holds up.... 25 years ago I still had more than contempt for Charles Bukowski...

02.03.2026 20:33 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Ackshually! John Brunner's The Shockwave Rider" from (holy shit, 1975???) has a prediction-market subplot throughout. Not well known maybe but I came across it about 25 years ago and it's stuck with me ever since...

02.03.2026 20:31 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I see what you did there

28.02.2026 15:51 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Tell the grues I said "what's up?"

24.02.2026 21:58 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
White Masshole Seagull Logo Tee Clean white tee with our unapologetic seagull logo on the back. Wear it when you wanna flex some real Mass pride β€” or when you’re just double-fisting hot dogs on Revere Beach.

I mean... share.google/r1GzvCIxMtGu...

24.02.2026 01:28 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
A red Mazda minivan partially covered in blown snow at sharp geometric angles

A red Mazda minivan partially covered in blown snow at sharp geometric angles

Goddamned snow turned my Mazda into a cybertruck

23.02.2026 21:48 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
A 12 pack of "masshole light lager" with a logo, a seagull in flight stealing a slice of pizza

A 12 pack of "masshole light lager" with a logo, a seagull in flight stealing a slice of pizza

God bless my great Commonwealth

22.02.2026 00:41 πŸ‘ 22 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 1

I am happy to report that after more than three decades working in enterprise desktop computing, I can finally insert a USB 2.0/3.0 device into a port the right way up almost every time.

19.02.2026 16:59 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

See, that might be true but it elides the fact that Boston sports fans are also the sorest of winners. I still catch serious heat from Pats fans who bring up how the Pats sucked before Belichick as a reason they're still underdogs to this day.

Both stupid, and Browns erasure.

14.02.2026 16:43 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Hunkie was still common in Pittsburgh as recently as the 1990s, exactly in the context of "uncultured European immigrant"

14.02.2026 12:39 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Raised right, those kids.

14.02.2026 01:48 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

TWO-TON-TWENTY-ONE....Junior.

14.02.2026 00:40 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

When I heard and loved his records, his "Spanish Fly" routine was really gross but seemed like an aberration. Hard to find out it was the key to his whole deal.

06.02.2026 21:19 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

If you're a cis straight male who knows what "gock" means... you might post on Bluesky

05.02.2026 23:49 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I can't dance in groups but yo perreo solo

05.02.2026 21:34 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Six-seven? You are definitely the parent of a 7 year old

31.01.2026 02:08 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Never mind the jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.

Orchestration
Existentialism
Modern Jewish history
Percussion Seminar
Tudor & Stewart England

31.01.2026 01:33 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Many were! I'm just glad people can find a way to keep someone's work alive without trying to cheapen it into a naked cash grab. And also, I've got a child studing the baritone saxophone at university because in part I exposed them to Morphine at a critical age... that might tip me into superfan...

29.01.2026 15:21 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

As a Boston-area ticket-holder to their upcoming show, I am grateful that the surviving members are keeping Mark Sandman's legacy and memory alive. Within the hyper-local Boston scene he loomed large as a friend & mentor to many, many people. Plus, "Cure For Pain" is a top-10 all timer album for me.

29.01.2026 14:42 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

A mellophone is just a valved vuvuzela pitched in F.

Change my mind.

28.01.2026 21:16 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

These are made-up facts, surely. 1986 was no more than twenty, twenty-five years ago, my knees don't hurt, and the AARP hasn't put me on their marketing lists. Fake news!

28.01.2026 15:32 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Aztec death whistles? I know a bunch of 3d print nerds with kg on kg of filament and blueprints...

28.01.2026 15:28 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Oh that is the BEST. My jackpot is "tired, relaxed, and lifted." Congrats on another successful migraine event!

27.01.2026 01:10 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Limbs heavy? Constant yawning? A little dumb? Langour? I know that feelin'

26.01.2026 23:55 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Two cars parked across a marked pedestrian crossing

Two cars parked across a marked pedestrian crossing

Mad respect to the Porsche Cayenne and BPD cruiser parked in the pedestrian crosswalk. Impeccably on brand.

21.01.2026 21:55 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Today I found out what happens when you wear wool socks inside shearling slippers, while also wearing a merino wool undershirt inside an Irish fisherman sweater.

19.01.2026 22:51 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I'm watching the Broncos and Bills and am realizing I will go to my grave still mad about The Drive and The Fumble.

18.01.2026 01:07 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Seen elsewhere on the Internet: the Boston accent is like a dark roast dunkies iced coffee. It's not good but it sure is the thing it is.

17.01.2026 01:18 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

A critically important question!

16.01.2026 21:39 πŸ‘ 13 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0