Tony Hancock

Today's charity shop purchase. Bona.

Birds have no right to be in towns. Why don't they stay in the country where they belong? Wait til they perch on my aerial with a lump of my bread in their mouth. I'll shove a few hundred volts through it, that'll make their feet tingle!

#TheRadioHam

Out now on all the usual platforms, the latest Tony Hancock podcast, Very Nearly An Armful. We meet Ted Kendall, sound restorer who was instrumental in the production of the original box sets of the radio Hancock’s Half Hour. Plus the latest Hancock news, Tweets and emails.

We're back tomorrow (Saturday) with an interview special of the official Hancock podcast, Very Nearly An Armful. Our guest is audio restorer Ted Kendall who has done so much to bring us the Hancock's Half Hours radio shows we enjoy. We asked Ted what was his favourite HHH....

Tony: Do you mind, I'm trying to read, don't interrupt. I'm on the edge of my seat

Sid: Good, is it?

Tony: Good? This is red hot, this is mate. I'd hate to think of this getting into the wrong hands. As soon as I've finished it, I shall recommend they ban it!

#WorldBookDay

"Do you get a badge for doing this?"

A rare treat tomorrow on BBC Radio 4 Extra, the Pye re-recording of The Blood Donor. With a few cast changes to the TV original, it seems that everyone had the LP in their collection! 07.30, 12.30 and 18.30, and afterwards on BBC Sounds

Coming soon, an interview special of the Tony Hancock podcast, Very Nearly An Armful. We meet Ted Kendall, sound restorer who was instrumental in the production of the original box sets of the radio Hancock’s Half Hour. Plus the latest Hancock news, Tweets and emails.

Tony: Well, doctor, what's the verdict?

Doctor: Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I may as well tell you straight out. You're a malingerer. Go away!

Tony: Yes, doctor.

Bill: Well, what did he say, Tub?

Tony: I've got malingery. He says I've got to go away!

Tony: By the way, what group are you?

Doctor: Group A

Tony: Huh!

#TheBloodDonor

Tony: Well, William, are you enjoying that porridge?

Bill: Yeah

Tony: Well, why don't you use a spoon like everybody else? Holding the plate up to your mouth and sucking it in like a vacuum cleaner! It's putting me off me eggs Monte Carlo!

#SundayMorning

Smudger was a quick thinker too. Did I ever tell you about the time in Germany when he was absent without leave? And the Red Caps finally caught him in this house with this German bird? And he said "Thank goodness you've arrived, she's been holding me prisoner for three months!

Kenneth: What sort of job do you have in mind?

Tony: Oh, I dont know, plenty of money, not much work, nine months a year holiday with pay, big expense allowance. Do you think that could be done?

Kenneth: Yes, if you can get enough people to vote for you!

#GortonAndDenton

Landlady: I don't know why you want to keep going in and out for anyway

Tony: I don't keep going in and out. I came home, I went out, now I've come in again. I don't call that keep going in and out! You saw me go out, you must have expected me to come in again!

#TheRadioHam

Kenneth: You're not very romantic are you, meeting her outside a laundry

Tony: But it wasn't a laundry when I arranged to meet her, it was a restaurant, Le Cafe de la Belle Marguerite

Kenneth: Oh, you mean Dirty Dick's!

Remembering the brilliant Kenneth Williams on his centenary, born #OTD 22 February 1926. Given his big break on Hancock's Half Hour, he appeared in 88 radio shows spread over all 6 series, and 6 TV episodes. Sadly, The Alpine Holiday is his only TV episode to survive.

Sid: What's next!

Tony (chef): Poissant, sir

Sid: Haven't you got any fish?

Tony: Poissant is fish sir, steamed turbot

Sid: That'll do, shoot the turbot to me 'erbert!

#TheChefThatDiedOfShame

Now, look chum. Everybody to his own trade, I grant you, but if I've got 8 pints I need 8 pints, not 7, as I will have by the time you've finished with me. No, no, I'm sorry, I've been misinformed. I've made a mistake. I'll do something else. I think I'll be a traffic warden...

Remembering the wonderful Dick Emery, born #OTD 19 February 1915. Great mates with Hancock, they helped each other out when struggling to get on the ladder to success in the post war years. Beautiful fluffed line in this clip as Emery plays a postman in Hancock's Half Hour.

Tony: What are these then?

Miss Pugh: Sausages

Tony: What, these shrivelled up things with black knobs on each end?

Miss Pugh: They burst out of their skins

Tony: And pleased to get out by the looks of things!

Your research is correct! The picture is from the TV episode The Horror Serial

Sid: The thing to do is to evacuate the whole road and blow the house up

Tony: Never, you can't touch that house, that house is of historic interest

Kenneth: Is it really?

Tony: Yes, that is the finishing line of the Cheam pancake race, that is!

#TheUnexplodedBomb

#PancakeDay

Sid: Me being a direct descendent of Bonnie Prince Charlie, I hereby claim the throne of Scotland, and all the castles in it, especially this one

Tony: Oh come off it Sid, you're no descendent of Bonnie Prince Charlie. Dick Turpin perhaps, but no more!

#LastOfTheMcHancocks

Tony: I can't stop now, I've got some business to attend to, the insurance man is waiting outside

Sid: That's me, son, I represent the Sidney James Friendly Accident Society

Tony: I'm not interested in your accidents, friendly or otherwise!

#TheInsurancePolicy

Sid: Let's hear one of your fan letters, Hancock

Tony: Alright, just to satisfy you. "Dear Bighead"

Sid: Go on!

Tony: No

Miss Pugh: Go on, we read ours

Tony: It merely says "Dear Big head. I hate you and everybody down our street hates you, why don't you turn it up!"

Tony: Perhaps you would be good enough to explain what you mean by tearing all over the countryside and risking our lives. It's not good enough, its my car, you were only hired to collect it and I demand an explanation!

Sid: Shut your cakehole!

Tony: Your 'umble servant!

Tony: It's no good, we must get in touch with London. James, have you finished making that radio set?

Sid: Yes, I used a corned beef tin, two pieces of wire, a razor blade, a German hearing aid valve, and a torch battery.

Tony: Ingenious! Does it work?

Sid: No!

#HancocksWar

Bill:You finished the fight then? Who won?

Sid: Mind your own business

Tony: It was a draw

Bill: You never touched each other!

Tony: We didn't have to. We're two intelligent men, we don't have to resort to violence.... Any more cheek and you'll get a clip round the ear 'ole!

Tony: I've told you, the television set's broken. I've had one ever since it's started, I don't know what to do with myself.

Sid: Your set's broken down and you don't know what to do with yourself? Why don't you read a book?

Tony: I sold all the books to get a television!

Remembering Alan Simpson OBE, who passed away #OTD 8 February 2017. With Ray Galton he wrote over 160 Hancock radio and tv scripts and Hancock's first major film, The Rebel. A great friend of the society, he always made time for fans. A true gentleman.

Taķe the case of Doubting Thomas who was sent to Coventry for looking through a keyhole at Lady Godiva. Can anybody prove he was looking at her? Can anybody prove it was he who shouted out "Get your hair cut"? Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain?