“Golden Age,” if you own the mine, but not if you own the shovel.
06.03.2026 16:06
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“Golden Age,” if you own the mine, but not if you own the shovel.
🎯🎯
Greeks fighting Persians.
The entire classics department at every university just sat bolt upright.
The fuck you mean? Put the money in the bag.
“If you vote for Kamala there’ll be high inflation, unemployment, and endless wars.”
New maga hat.
New MAGA hat just dropped.
Satire
Homeland Security just updated the threat level to “Mile High.” ✈️
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Melania both made their money handling orange balls. 🏀 🏀
Meme
My portfolio chart looks like it’s trying to reach the center of the Earth.
Wall Street’s favorite asset class is other people’s rent money.
The Golden Age is great if you own the mine.
Trump and his crack team of national security nitwits are flailin’ and failin’
It’s almost like we didn’t think this through.
“Had Americans known that Trump was going to undertake wars of choice and assorted military strikes all around the world, they may not have elected him.”
Comment: If his lips are moving, he’s lying. If his voters believed him, they were self-deluded.
Commander Biden
Brave Cricket never stood a chance. And remember, Kristi Noem threatened to shoot Commander Biden too.
No wonder Kristi's hubby didn’t divorce her for going to the bone zone with Corey. He didn’t want to end up in the same gravel pit as Cricket.
Celebrating Noem’s firing.
Animal Control reports a 300% spike in tail-wagging and celebratory bleating.
Don't forget to move your clocks ahead 1 hour before you go to bed Saturday night.
Also, on an unrelated time note, a treadmill minute is longer than a microwave minute. 😊
Me: I’m bored
My refrigerator: Here she comes.
Kristi Noem fired.
Noem found out she was fired the same way everyone else did...by refreshing Twitter with a cup of coffee and a growing sense of dread. ☕📱
Kristi Noem's PC auto-connects to Starbucks now.
Dumb-as-a-Box-of-Hammers Markwayne Mullins' name sounds like a NASCAR driver who lost the car but kept the sponsorship patches.
Markwayne on January 6
Putting Markwayne Mullin in charge of guarding the country is like putting the bouncer from Applebee’s in charge of NORAD.
Gym Jordan?
Trump thought long and hard about who would replace Kristi Noem and finally said, “What if we just hired the angriest gym teacher?”
Colby's strategy appears to be: play dumb long enough and eventually someone else becomes confused.
The ‘we can only hope’ post of the day
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried all the Republican House members who just lost their primaries and now have nothing to lose will join Thomas Massie in voting to force the DOJ to reveal all the Epstein Files that incriminate him.
All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about perfect tacos.
Does this mean Lewandowski will now have to bang Mullin?
