Doc Evatt

Gentlemen, this is monarchy manifest!

"This nonsense about Pizza Express isn't going to pass muster, ya noncy wee gobshite. We follow the letter of the law here. The. Fucking. Letter. Just because you sweat less than Ben Shapiro's wife doesn't make you innocent."

Despite being a self described medical marvel, I think Andrew will easily sweat out a confession.

Just getting ahead of next week's hashtag #andrewdidntkillhimself

Tim 'I racked up $77,000 in unnecessary expenses in my bullshit role as Freedom Commissioner in a spectacularly failed attempt to rollback section 18c' Wilson is an excellent choice for Shadow Treasurer. #auspol

BREAKING: Georgina Downer emerges from crypt and seen shambling towards the seat of Farrer. #auspol

Tony Abbott's hot take is that judges shouldn't make decisions? #onbrand #auspol

Remember that time Peter Dutton destroyed the Coalition #auspol

Sussan Ley, the Brendan Nelson of John Hewson. #auspol

Sussssssssan Ley, the first woman ever elected leader of the Liberal Party. I'm glad Tony Abbott isn't alive to see this. #auspol

This is the worst thing to happen to the Liberals since Brendan Nelson. #auspol

Watching James McGrath it's hard to workout where it went wrong for the Liberals. #auspol

Western Australia even more superfluous than it already is. #auspol

Dutton being gracious? We really are in uncharted waters tonight. #auspol

Its been a joy to watch

James McGrath has just gone through all 7 stages of grief and obfuscation. #auspol

Hard to believe that the biggest winner for the Liberals tonight is Georgina Downer. #ausvote25

All pay heed to opposition leader, Sussssssan Ley. #ausvotes

James McGrath waiting for the prepolling to come in to confirm he is a misogynistic deluded shitpot #ausvotes

Jacinta Price et al are political asbestos. #ausvotes

Credit to Dutton, he did promise to cut the bloated public service. #ausvotes

Hard to believe that Australia didn't vote in a guy who looks and acts like Nosferatu's uncle Fester. #ausvotes

Sky News must be looking like Jonestown at the moment #ausvotes

Peter Dutton looks on track to be the next Sky News presenter

Antony Green declares LNP's time of death at 8:25pm.

Hey Queensland, thinking of you during this trying time. Also, sorry to hear about the cyclone.

Elon really is Trump's reich hand man.

Devastating to learn how all those talented and amazing artists' houses burned down in the LA fires. Also Mel Gibson's house burned down.

Merry Christmas to everyone, except those passerbys who refused to acknowledge me this morning when I kept shouting "you there, what day is it today?!" from my balcony.

John Marsden, now Leunig. Paul Jennings must be petrified to fall asleep.