"'She is dead,'" Officer Auderer told Officer Solan, before bursting out laughing.
"'No, it’s a regular person,' Officer Auderer said, adding: 'Yeah, just write a check — $11,000. She was 26, anyway. She had limited value.'"
I’m strongly considering crying rn
nothing is funnier than Alex Warren losing the beat while performing his OWN song
I broke a glass underfoot before I left the apartment this morning. Surely it can’t get worse
i have work in 4 hours
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
if carlos does all that to alex just to lose to abuser zverat i'm going to be very upset with him
‘Or You Could Just Get Takeout,’ Reports Little Voice That Already Knows It’s Won
‘Or You Could Just Get Takeout,’ Reports Little Voice That Already Knows It’s Won https://theonion.com/or-you-could-just-get-takeout-reports-little-voice-t-1850409519/
On Saturday, @theverge.com's creative director @kristenradtke.bsky.social carefully watched a video of a shooting in Minneapolis, twice. Hours later, she found out that the man who was killed was her childhood best friend. www.theverge.com/policy/86856...
Statement from Michael and Susan Pretti Parents of Alex Jeffrey Pretti “We are heartbroken but also very angry. Alex was a kindhearted soul who cared deeply for his family and friends and also the American veterans whom he cared for as an ICU nurse at the Minneapolis VA hospital. Alex wanted to make a difference in this world. Unfortunately, he will not be with us to see his impact. I do not throw around the ‘hero’ term lightly. However, his last thought and act was to protect a woman. The sickening lies told about our son by the administration are reprehensible and disgusting. Alex is clearly not holding a gun when attacked by Trump’s murdering and cowardly ICE thugs. He had his phone in his right hand and his empty left hand is raised above his head while trying to protect the woman ICE just pushed down, all while being pepper sprayed. Please get the truth out about our son. He was a good man. Thank you.
Kare 11 local news just read, in full, this statement from Michael and Susan Pretti, the parents of Alex Pretti.
"Please get the truth out about our son."
Alex Pretti from his early days working at the VA
Alex from our time working together, while he was in nursing school. Later, he moved to ICU, working as a nurse to support critically ill Veterans. He had such a great attitude. We’d chat between patients about trying to get in a mountain bike ride together. Will never happen now
The people who'll tell you today's murder victim in Minnesota shouldn't have turned up to a protest carrying a gun are the same people who said Kyle Rittenhouse was perfectly entitled to do the same thing.
The newest video shows very clearly that they attacked him for coming to an aid of a woman that the agents pushed, and then executed him while he was immobilized. Everything the government has said, like with Good, has been a complete lie.
Nuremberg trials for ICE is the moderate position
I am watching what is happening in Minneapolis on Ali Velshi and one of the ICE officers (off camera) literally says, “It’s like Call of Duty. Pretty cool huh?” as they shoot whatever it is they are shooting. Agents walking around, guns unholstered for no reason. This is insanity
does the nhl realize they are the big bad
One of the top replies under an image on X of Renee Good's body slumped over in her car after an ICE agent shot her is another user asking Grok to put her body in a bikini. Grok then generated the image.
For those keeping score, Bellingcat, The New York Times Visual Investigation Team, & Washington Post's Visual Forensic team have all published analysis showing the ICE shooter wasn't in the path of Renee Nicole Good’s vehicle when he shot her, contradicting statements by the President & his cronies
not my utility short king 😭
eating a kale salad alone in the dark at 2 am like a psychopath
Sign for a "Friend" ad defaced with graffiti reading "AI doesn't care if you live or die."
Sign for a "Friend" ad defaced with graffiti reading "talk to humans"
Sign for a "Friend" ad defaced with graffiti reading "Fuck this!"
Sign for a "Friend" ad defaced with graffiti reading "you don't have to accept this future."
Yesterday my partner and I counted all the ads along Chicago's Brown Line for "Friend," a company selling an AI chatbot pendant, and tallied how many of those ads were defaced.
Still working on a longer piece on this, but here's the quick and dirty: we counted 104 "Friend" ads total, 42 defaced.
Tien Takes It!
Down 1-5 in the deciding tiebreaker, Learner Tien turns on the jets to fly past Cam Norrie, 6-3, 3-6, 7-6⁶, and lift his first ATP title.
The win caps an extraordinary season for the 19yo American, who has vaulted from #122 to #31 in the last 12 months.
From The Archives: Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave
From The Archives:
Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave https://theonion.com/dick-cheney-vice-presidential-library-opens-in-pitch-da-1819574915/
he’s also not even funny but whatever
Bublik is such a loser and also just incredibly rude, but he’s fUnNy so it’ll get glossed over so fast lol. Wonder where I’ve seen that before
Giannis Antetokounmpo Panicking After Waking Up 3-Foot-2
Giannis Antetokounmpo Panicking After Waking Up 3-Foot-2 https://theonion.com/giannis-antetokounmpo-panicking-after-waking-up-3-foot-2/
It’s hard to convey just how much Chicagoans are mobilizing against ICE. Don’t want to downplay the harm, or make it seem like a fair fight. But in neighborhoods across this city, ICE is getting chased by people blowing whistles and shouting. People are running TOWARD ICE to protect their neighbors.
