Marnie Shure

See? One need only hope

Donnie darko therapist meme Your order has shipped Has it really shipped or just shipping label Shipping label

I made this to express my feelings

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I understand that all logic would dictate I have an affinity for Hop Along but I simply do not and no streaming algorithm has yet succeeded in being trained on this one immutable fact

Thursday, or, the Friday of the Hopeful

I would feel like an even bigger imposter than when I say "y'all"

Agree, except for some of us it's a transitional period while we cast about for a phrase to replace "you guys"

"In space, no one can't hear you scream" styled like the Super Mario Galaxy title screen

article: "Meet Fancy, 37, the world's oldest horse – and her lifelong caretaker"

Hell of a thing to learn that if you were a horse you'd be literally the oldest horse in the world

Some of you have never been treated to the auditory pleasures of hearing a lifelong Chicagoan say "Throop" and it shows

No thoughts just Chef Boyardee Cannelloni

Soft dog treats rob us of the joy brought by those little cronching sounds

Thank you Erik

It's a new feeling for me, wanting so badly to spit on an eventual grave

I dunno, I probably just have to stare at it every day for 14 more years

The "are" is really what's messing things up for me. The tense is ambiguous. But if word economy is the goal, maybe we just flip the halves entirely:
"ELEVATORS OUT OF SERVICE IN THE EVENT OF FIRE"
But then of course people who only read the first bit will be misinformed, which I'm trying to avoid

Now, I'm willing to concede how weird it is that "in case of" has taken on a separate, distinct meaning from "in the event of" when they're technically the same conditional phrase. But it just has!!!! And that's not my fault!!!!!

Elevator sign: "In case of fire elevators are out of service"

I see this every day and can't stop thinking about it. For clarity it should probably say "IN EVENT OF FIRE ELEVATORS WILL BE OUT OF SERVICE," because the current phrasing makes it sound like the elevators are being preemptively decommissioned on the chance of a fire sometime in the future

They do! Like Girl Scout Cookie sales, it takes place largely in the digital realm now

Unfortunately my high school pre-calc teacher who always responded to the question "How are trig functions useful to my life?" with the exasperated reply "IT'S BRAIN FOOD, OKAY?" was right on the money

Just unearthed some old chicken-scratch notes tucked in some books I haven't opened since college and they confirmed what I already strongly suspected, which is that I used to be a lot smarter

Uh oh she's overcaffeinated but also doesn't want to work

Unfortunately, Mr. Pibb dropping a Peach flavor is exactly what I needed to hear this week

This premise requires that you find these men hunky. As someone who has nary a crush in the bunch, I am in fact the one who is cruelly locked out of Academy Awards conversations

Oh, The Bear is filming? Call me when the Richie arc bends back toward that of a track-pant-clad dirtbag

You CANNOT tell me that this amount of time is needed to establish all these characters when Ocean's Eleven clocks in at 116 minutes

I can't tell you how much I need the movie CRIME 101 to not be 2 hours and 20 minutes long

No thoughts just Horse Vision's "Partly Get By"

Really gotta give it up for the CTA this week. I've been gliding onto bus transfers without breaking stride for three days straight. A living god

I literally remember your online review!!!!!!