I would really wish life could be easier. Not only for me but everyone. I personally just am so worn out from pain in my body i would kill for only one day where nothing hurts and i could not be in endless worry. One singular day where its just me enjoying the day. I also miss singing so much
Mom took a video for her brother but i wanna share it to share part of our tradition in which we on the 1st of november celebrate day of the dead where we put flowers and light candles for our passed family members and friends. Its imo a really beautiful tradition
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I really miss the 90' and early 00s
Idk why but things felt just nicer. Designs were more fun. Houses were colorful people wore more different and fun clothes. Things tasted better and there was just such a more human feel to the world.
I am afraid of everything ahead but more than anything i am afraid of my weakness i was never this close to giving up and i am so ashamed for even having these thoughts non stop while i cant, i have to take care of my mom i have all these animals that mean the world to me. But i am weak and broken
Brother and sister chilling
Will forever remeber how i found them on a rainy night in a trash bag next to the street thank god Belero(the white one) managed to poke his head out of the trashbag so i spotted them and took them in as kittens. They are my 2 big fluffy babies! They are both 9 years old
Gotta love how my lovely neighbors sleep trough the whole day after they spend the nights drinking and blasting music and now at 9pm decide its time to start using power tools and sledge hammers and lets not forget chainsaws. God i so love living here!
It got really cold so the warm blankets are out and rose is very glad for that she loves sleeping on the wool blanket
First vet expenses that hit really hard and now ending the month without even hitting my goal. Next month is car ensurence and technical. Idk how i will deal and handle anything. But its just life. Really wish there was a easier way to just dissapear one that dosnt leave others sad. I am tired.
Petitions defenetely have a impact 100% we see it right now very clearly.
I want to go back to the simpler times. Where anxiety didnt rule every fiber of my existence and when responsibilities werent weighing on me every second of my day.
Still thinking on how non-chalantly they lately been reporting on a alien mothership and probes that are coming towards us. And then all of a sudden in the last 2 weeks they all stopped shifted focus to other stuff and left that just staying without adressing anything anymore. Am i being gaslighted
I got to the point where i am ashamed of how unwell i am. I feel like a broken record desperately constantly hoping for just some way of solving the constant reoccuring issues.
Im in a position where theres not much to hope for anymore. And that spirals me and then i ooze of negativity cause of it
Twd negan i know everyone loves him for me he set a tone to the show that extremely just annoyed me.
Dr.Who the 13th doctor.
And oh my god sara lance on arrow
Oh also ashton kutcher in two and a half man just didtn fir for me.
Throwback to olden days.
I am really deep in a hole lately i wish i had more talent or mltivstion i would love to go back to my hobies even more wish i could sing and play the guitar again but sold the guitar years ago and singing is basically impossible cant even talk properly anymore. Idk even whats the point anymore.
Its rather hard cause ADHD and Depression both share some core issues and can seem very similar so diagnosing which is which gets really hard. I have severe depression but can relate to a bunch of the things people with ADHD go trough. Even worse people with ADHD can develop depression on top of it.
Worst timing ever my dogs had to have surgery to get their testicles removed cause they were inside picassos were by his belly button and maximilians at his tendoins with the absolute last of money we had at home had to get it done cause vet said they were in grave danger of sepsis or even cancer
Your smile counts and brings joy dont let anyone take that away from you. Cause if you loose it, its very hard to bring it back.
And you will never even begin to understand how much you are loved. Trust me i know.
I have lost my smile and the warmth within me and i am miserable. Be better than me.
Growing up it was snoopy for me idk if right now i can say i got any comfort character but when i hear that word only snoopy comes to mind
Thank god internet is back
Now i only need a miracle to somehow make it trough this and next month with bills and car ensurence/technical and then maybe i can finally breathe a bit easier without all the stress this freaking car technical and ensurence are gicing me and just focus on survival
Im numb cold and fear what is to come. Idk how we will push trough if internet isnt back soon and i can stream again. I have to care for all the bills, meds and food at home. Have a mom and animals to take care of. And even tho i struggle with my health i push trough it all but now i have no options
Internet has been now out for over a week, i needed for this month to go more than well and it isnt. Helplesly starring at the celling and getting eaten alive by my thoughts. Caught myself wanting to reach to my anxiety meds more than i should, i put them away for saftey. Actually falling apart
Have been extremely suicidal lately keep straying into the worst headspace far worse than i have been in a very long time. I feel helpless, trapped and at the end of the road. Sorry for posting this here but i need to let it out but dont want to bother anyone in dms. And sorry for being like this.