Jack

terrific their onion ring/fry combo is practically an awakening

I’ll only do Burger and that’s final

the king or In Charge?

ditto with n’heimer

Let’s never get divorced ❤️

same

It’s basically Kramer vs. Kramer without the divorce

If you can open a thing of tightly wrapped taco shells without breaking any congratulations you’re a surgeon

Without using words, emojis, voice memos, attachments, or typing please explain the lasting appeal of HAIM

[Nathan Lane sound]

but it came for the air traffic controllers hardest

and yet I keep hitting watch credits

Fame has greatly diminished my tradecraft

Why didn’t you tell me you were in Austin?

I don’t always go to Whole Foods but when I do I buy a thing of croutons and eat them on the way home AMA

Barber: what would you like?
MS: 9/11

Pretty sure this is the week I spend the full fifty mins of therapy talking about Michael Shannon’s haircut

It’s almost summer and you know what that means — breaking cycles of generational trauma

Why do we keep falling for ‘and special guest?’

as long as he was present

Nothing against the suspension of disbelief but where was Hannibal Lecter’s lawyer?

“This free little library on a tree-lined street is making some of the best Indonesian cuisine outside of Jakarta.”

ALL INDIE ROCKERS AND THEIR SPOUSES PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO JAIL

you redecorated

I can literally feel you playing air bass

it’s like you have to make *everything* about that one time you met Gary Sinise

total necro baby tho

I just added the editor of a shopping circular

There is *no sex* in the sound bath room. Like don’t even try it they get so upset

Death is a spectre of thin grey cloth hung ramshackle and eerily from the corners of your feed offering shoe ads for a soul twice your age