If you didn’t go to a “party school” you will never understand the appeal of a guy who is fat, can drink 30 beers, and has a locked in job at his dad’s local printing business after college
I am going to try it out but I do love group chats
Under armour needs to release white compression shorts with faux dookie stains
How I feel after drinking green tea
Sorry guys, I can't make it to the party. I have to FaceTime the chainsmokers
Photo looks like a gay Instagram couple that flips houses
Horrible news for my husky nephew who swims with his shirt on
I have a team of 20 people searching RedNote for the Chinese Rizzler
Paddington after I give him Coke
The Costco guys should have done the golden globes red carpet
[shaking my 91 year old grandmother awake]
Mr. Beast is engaged to Thea Booysen.
Last night was mad real
Jimmy Carter’s life gets 5 big BOOMS
I do not care for malt vinegar but I respect its placement on the table
I am in possession of an ancient scent that would kill Jeremy Fragrance
Peak performance
I was thrown out of the eyes wide shut orgy for wearing a Peter millar golf shirt
Michael Jordan mode activated
I need to hire an intimacy coordinator for what I’m about to do at Chili’s
Elmo is posting like an OF girl with heavy naturals
Dua Lipa, while very beautiful, does not know as much about Frasier as me
Dressed like a guy who makes out with his girlfriend in line at the gas station checkout
He tweets like he’s writing taglines for a Nancy Meyers movie
Great estate sale find
Got the sad Ben Affleck haircut
The only thing we should be concerned about in the bathroom is what Nancy mace’s 47 year old colon is gonna do after all those beans
Bleeding out in the PORN ambulance
