when a dog is wearing a collar with little cartoon bones on it...that is Fashion
02.03.2026 02:49
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when a dog is wearing a collar with little cartoon bones on it...that is Fashion
using my powerful intellect to rotate a single chocolate Teddy Graham within my mind's eye
[yelling over everyone at a politician's town hall meeting] no one has ever actually eaten a ferrero rocher
me (checking my phone): ok if i fall asleep right now i'll get 4 hours before my alarm goes off
my brain:
precious moments figurines are funko pops for grandmas
this is specifically for @bvigeant.bsky.social
coworker: man this weekend was wild
me (wearing a jean jacket, a little bit louder than is appropriate): OH YEA?
You know where you won’t see a series of increasingly worrisome headlines? Inside my hollow tree ever since the wifi went out because I chewed through a wire
This is weird, but maybe helpful for other folks: I've been struggling with a persistent ringing in my ears for months, and finally scheduled an appointment to get it checked out. The doctor found a tiny experimental noise band in there. Little table full of gear, bunch of cables and everything
pierooooooo
Sorry I lost your dog, he hit a speed boost arrow & that’s the last I saw him
my face when [doleful sound of the wind howling through a metal door left ajar]
i have...so many thoughts
don't let her take that thing to goodwill, that's how horror movies start
NFTs were a bubble, AI is a bubble, but small carvings of large hipped women have remained popular with unsettling lighthouse keepers for 200 years, invest with confidence
the all-new, fully redesigned 2025 homie
is anybody else's amulet glowing
[message from your dasher]
hey is it cool if i haunt your dreams a lil bit
person i just met at a party: so what do you do for work?
me (wincing): computer,
At a funeral saying deadass instead of amen
not enough booger chat generally, imo
me (proudly): so sharks, what do you think
mark cuban: well i for one cannot stand you. you're like a greasy little goblin or something
kevin o'leary: a gremlin
mark cuban: a gremlin. and for that reason, i'm out
Hey, the common loon called. Yeah, it was hauntingly beautiful
a screenshot of a smithsonian article headline that reads "archaeologists keep finding massive shoes at an ancient roman fort—and they have no idea why..."
easy. massive feet
so tired of leaving my house only to be swooped up by the talons of an enormous predatory bird and dropped on top of a tall building
job interviewer: tell me a little about yourself
me: my bones are sturdy and strong
always fun to drive past someone emphatically trying to reason with their dog
amazon delivery vans should play music like the ice cream truck
Why did so many people I went to high school with become yoga masters 25 years later? Is it because of the Nintendo Switch? Nintendo is making us more serene and flexible and I don't trust it.
spending a generous portion of today tending to my many Feuds
