Robtimus

real shitposters only use lower case because we are anti-capitalism

I'm at the comedy festival. I'm at the authoritarian regime. I'm at the combination comedy festival and authoritarian regime

Just once i'd like to see two mimes having a huge argument in a library

i'm not "going to the bathroom" i'm "having a coffee release party"

Same. I've been thinking about the movie Law Abiding Citizen a lot

Skeeter from Muppet Babies

The original Bluesky Elder

A badass looking supervillain called Nightshade, but they just throw tomatoes and eggplants at people

do you think the goatse guy expected his picture to be viewed over one billion times or was that more of a stretch goal

slightly diminish a band

Pearl Push

This implies the existence of guillotine Zelda

the bobs they are a-dylan

Drop a bad guy you actually love

You're in for a treat!

If you were in a hypothetical situation, what would you do?

POV: you’re about to get a call from 1998

Ok, this is the last one. Internet is 10/10 today.

An ad in the cheese section of a grocery store. It is a picture of a caucasian woman eating a cracker that says “crackers love cheese!”

Actually, people of every color love cheese

I’m such an easy going person that I’m not even mentioning your typo which is making me hyperventilate

My dog turns on my Xbox sometimes. Oh well, time for Diablo

Woah, take it down a notch, let's not get crazy

Small fonts are ageism

thinking about how good, with all this heat and humidity, a large glass of egg nog would be right now

Drop someone BESPECTACLED 👓🖤🕶️

Why did they call them Viking runes and not Norse code

I used to run with a pretty tough gang when I was younger

*closing menu* I'll have the brain on drugs with a side of hash browns

Extra crispy

I have never been swimming because it’s never been more than 30 minutes since I last ate

Shame in bio

I like school zones because you can slow down and use your phone for a sec