ogar

i think brittney spears should be allowed to drive drunk

sick

“hebride”? did you forget the word groom?

average person cheering for war in iran

thats none of your beeswax, your honor

A wall full of mugs arranged in such a way that it looks like the mugs are repeating themselves, creating an uncomfortable illusion

Woe, wall of astigmatism be upon ye

just a big bowl of sprinkles in milk for breakfast

no fuckin way lol

they keep changing the city limits

oh no they finally caught rango

lol

tell me anyway

covid didn’t affect me much except that now every time i sneeze i start a second sneeze in the middle of the first one. also i lost most hearing in my left ear and i pass out every day at 2 pm and can barely write two coherent sentences in a row

“i’d like a dry soy cappuccino” yeah sure thing pal. comin right up

it’s weird that june and july are both the seventh month of the year. they should have thought that through

gimme

you should have to drive your car facing backward like a row boat

is thuis real

portfolio sounds like a caper on a wharf

it’s a crop of the famous painting the fallen angel by Alexandre Cabanel depicting lucifer crying bitterly

how my toddler looks at me when mommy needs a few minutes to herself

you may have raped and ate babies but you didnt file the paperwork for it correctly, so its jail time for you buster

Imagine having a pedophile rub dirt on your forehead on a perfectly good Wednesday morning

do you have prince andrew in the can?

teriyaki sauce latte

there is no reason for anyone outside college-level and higher literature students and academics to be reading books without pictures

Asked my kid if he knew who Charlie Kirk was and he said he’s the guy “who got Kirked”, I have faith in the next generation

what if it happens today

well we’ll see if i get athletes eye

my toddler kicked the contact out of my eye