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Mark Allerton

@markaallerton

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19.09.2023
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Latest posts by Mark Allerton @markaallerton

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05.03.2026 04:41 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Yes, I think you basically sip from puddles with a straw.

It's 4.33am. My sarcasm must have been a misfire.

I am actually jealous. I have to rely on an evil corporation that literally pumps shit into rivers and seas

05.03.2026 04:35 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Enjoy your free dirty ground water.

05.03.2026 04:18 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

EuroMillions is like £169M this Friday.

Tax free, septics

05.03.2026 04:13 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Power Stroke indeed

05.03.2026 04:08 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Me: we're so lucky that clean tap* water is basically unlimited and free.

United Utilites, every 6 months: yeah, about that... bend over please.

*faucet?

05.03.2026 03:27 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

So long as it's labeled so we can make informed choices about our wind consumption, I don't mind.

03.03.2026 19:03 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I did see an interesting perspective that he isn't doing this to stay in power, he's stayed in power just to do this.

03.03.2026 06:41 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Reminded me of this

01.03.2026 17:36 👍 89 🔁 7 💬 2 📌 0

(Getting an English person to think about how society could be better) imagine a cheap train beer

01.03.2026 08:43 👍 140 🔁 8 💬 3 📌 0
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a man in a suit and tie says " that definitely sounds like a made-up story " ALT: a man in a suit and tie says " that definitely sounds like a made-up story "
28.02.2026 03:56 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Accurate labeling of Pete Hegseth as "the arse"

Accurate labeling of Pete Hegseth as "the arse"

No notes

28.02.2026 02:35 👍 597 🔁 72 💬 6 📌 3

No, no, she's Columnist of The Year in the Gove-Vine household.

27.02.2026 09:54 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I got ibuprofen in Spain and it was only 400mg per tablet with "take 3 max per day, 1 every 4hrs" on the box and holy sheet I'm glad I didn't ignore it.
It was somehow way more powerful than the 500mg I've had here

26.02.2026 16:32 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Framing... like a wooden frame?

26.02.2026 00:33 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Yeah I've heard that before.
I think this was mid morning on his rest day.

24.02.2026 20:46 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It was Cheshire who did this arrest at his home in front of his neighbours instead of waiting for him to go to work at a police building. He asked if the cuffs were necessary and was told it's policy.
He was a Firearms officer though so maybe they thought that was a risk?

24.02.2026 20:35 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I know someone who was arrested for it. At the time a serving Sgt.
They sent a different force to do it and they cuffed him and led him out to a marked police vehicle.
He didn't respond violently.

24.02.2026 20:29 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

He wasn't cuffed either. Is that Met policy?

24.02.2026 20:26 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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a man in a suit and tie is surrounded by men ALT: a man in a suit and tie is surrounded by men

Can't wait for it to try to short Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice

24.02.2026 16:22 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

This was how the SSMAC club in NYC operated for room rates.
An alien custom to us Brits.
As Allied guests we paid the max rate, same as a US O-5 when we were E2-4ish

24.02.2026 12:24 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Recruiter rang me about a job in manufacturing. Working with a furnace or kiln or something. They wanted someone with engineering experience. 3 months shadowing a guy who was retiring. Minimum wage.
Then it would go up.
"By how much?"
"That would have to be negotiated with the company"

24.02.2026 12:19 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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Quite the Eye Told You So in Private Eye, flagging its reporting of Mandelson’s dealings with Epstein from 2009 (!)

24.02.2026 11:36 👍 213 🔁 94 💬 3 📌 2

Ah I see that now.

24.02.2026 11:23 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Ah, yes. "Irrelevant"

24.02.2026 11:15 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Oh, Space: 1999 was created out if a planned sequel for UFO

24.02.2026 11:11 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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Did you ever see this series?
The fighters had a massive bomb on the front and was obviously just because that would be an easy model to make with a spring. And also a toy for merch.

24.02.2026 11:09 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

New Netflix special?

24.02.2026 11:05 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

We're right behind* you all the way**.

*1000s of miles behind.

**way out of this nonsense.

Actually, Starmer is going to throw some Typhoons at this isn't he? To distract from getting annihilated by the Greens in a by-election.

23.02.2026 22:55 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Lucky you

23.02.2026 22:44 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0