I’m too nice - keep saying yes to people crashing in my airbnb in utah in two weeks to the point where I’m the one who now needs to crash on the couch.
dm me if you need a place tho cause i can’t say no.
New York isn’t too cold right now - and that’s coming off a flight from Los Angeles which is literally on fire - so like where can a mf find some snow? ❄️❄️❄️
band name
it wasn’t babygirl was it cause if so i’d have big news for you…
Literally delivering cookies for the holidays and got an order from Gracie Abrams but nobody was home to receive so now i have Gracie Abrams’ cookies in my house.
Life is funny
when you find out your 7th grade english teacher was the one who pushed to hire a pedophile at your old high school and is now getting reamed out in the New York Times.
Sorry Ms. Kantor, sounds like you should be fired?
good!
just got stuck in traffic on the 405 for the first time awwww
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
hal sell the team you cheapskate
Just moved to LA - bagels here suck!
sucker punching fedoras
“Are you wearing mixed patterns?”
*extends baton*
I am the Boggle King!
#Thankful #Thanksgiving #ThankfulForTheDepartmentOfGovernmentEfficiency
Stupid 23 year old me bought $706 in DOGE coin the week of Elon hosting SNL in 2021.
Today, soon to be 27 year old me sold that DOGE coin for $706.22.
#Blessed
And I'm walking in the forest no I will not be on time yes I will smell like weed a little bit
RIP Limu Emu - nobody wore it better (shades and tie)
BREAKING NEWS: Christmas music delayed till December 9th this year cause the Snoopy Balloon saw his shadow during his test flight.
my girlfriend for example;
she was surprised when i thought she’d be in the top 1% of readers in the country but now she’s learned she reads 6000% more than 46% of the country…
according to one poll, 46% of americans say they don’t even finish 1 book a year but who knows
They say the average american reads 12 books a year but that just smells to me like you’re trying to sell me a book a month
Do you guys ever close your eyes and just think about how bad the CGI was in Marvel’s MOON KNIGHT? Haunting stuff.
Now that Matt Gaetz is out as AG can we get Lauren Boebert in there?
All these twitter expats coming to bluesky but i’m just a blueskier who never twittered so please don’t bully me if i’m not doing it right. I’m trying jennifer!
Ok it didn’t happen so i guess I’ll still be sad now.
BAD* damnit kyler please don’t let a typo stop you from doing what you’re meant to.
Kyler Murray, if you deliver a garbage time long touchdown to Marvin Harrison Jr. you’ll make this one guy reallly realllly happy at the end of a back week. Be a mensch. 🙏
yeah can’t wait for these tariffs to get inflation back up. love it when the CONSUMER SUFFERS
I've talked to a few folks this morning who were talking about stopping work on their creative projects. Because it's "not important anymore."
I don't know who needs to hear this, but DON'T DO THAT.
We win by living our lives as loudly and truly as we can. That includes your "silly" art project.
yo usa, why do you hate women leaders? like jeez she’s gotta be better than the racist rapist - i feel like im going crazy!
