Graveless Cheeb

all those nanas from the shreddies advert probably dead by now

[To the tune of Stacey's Mom]

🎵 Chekov's gun
🎵 Will have it going on

You're damn right I got her digits *pulls out jar of severed fingers and toes*

fucking christ

Table football? What's that? Wait that sounds just like my new sport snooccer, wtf man they stole my idea

Text saying "You've read your last free article."

Jacked action hero with goon in headlock, in raspy yet firm voice:

i read my 6yo niece some of your skeets and she said your jokes are mid and need more poop

Not Barker or Corbett, but a secret third Ronnie

That's great! You can sell baby shoes on popular sites such a Facebook Marketplace or Gumtree. The fact they have never been worn might also mean you qualify for a refund from the place you bought them. Ask about their store policy.

If Ocean's 11, why is he played by a grown man?

youth pastor: 67 this, 67 that, but you know something else that's sick's heaven

Autistic woman tell lies of necessity but not recreationally Image of young woman tenting fingers together as if plotting

“While I’m now physically able to lie, it’s not a fun hobby for me like it is for some people. It’s a last resort after avoiding, apologising and curling up into a little ball until the person I have to lie to walks away in disgust.”

Full article on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/150984...

I saw a witch today. She asked if I'd like to see her pussy. I thought "that's a little familiar"

a bird in the stink is worth two in the pink

living the dream

started brushing my teeth three times a day to make up for lost time

Claude, ask ChatGPT if Gemini is lying to me

We all know the zip code to Beverley Hills is 90210, but the zip code to Dawson's Creek is 90108 (for our lives to be over).

M is for maybe this starts with an m N is for next letter, and that one's an n E is for easy, like spelling this word M is for magpie, the stealingest bird O is for only three more letters to go N is for nearly there, you mnemonic pro I is for imminent, this poem's end C is for congratulations, my spellingwell friend

If you are unsure of how to spell mnemonic, here is a handy mnemonic:

sorry, liked the wrong post, i actually preferred the joke about farting during sex to your lukewarm starmer roast

*Slaps roof of Klein bottle* this baby can- hang on

I could see them cutting costs by just getting Sue Perkins.

Whoever replaces Richard Osman on House of Games MUST also have a name that scans to House of Fun. That is the only requirement that matters.

call me crazy but i kinda like being gaslit

Getting banned from the SCP wiki for changing "cognitohazard" to "jimmies-rustler" in every article.

Honestly can't wait for today's edition of Mock the Previous Week

That's quite a birthday treat!

I never get lost bc I remember the compass points with that simple mnemonic. You know the one. Never Ever Sever Neat Wedded Shredded Wheat Seat. Eat, Eat.

Twat dooming Reform? (4,7)

i am gona mixrowave, my cris ps, and your gnna sit there. and watch me.. yeah