its borb

Work truck for Long Beverage

Need one of these after this long ass day in the office

i think of this tweet so often lol

tweet by @witnessborne Haters will see you stand in the river rapids catching salmon with your powerful jaws and say She can't afford a net!

at some point this mutated from "funny post" to "personal motto"

"guy debord" is french for "guy the board"

no corporation should be allowed to send me an emoji. grow up

it would be pretty easy to enlist numismatists to the cause of US balkanization now that you bring attention to the idea

it is pretty galling that in addition to the inherent indignity of having a brain that wants to play a moba, there is no way to do it in an environment that is not also a digital hat gambling shop

it is a commonality i have encountered that friends who are fairly cognizant of the negatives of both systems will still engage with them

if the name be naomi, just get away, homie

some people are too concerned, with "nb" peoples, while i'm worried about "c" peoples

libs wander the earth, forever doomed to form sentences with a "but" in the middle

what, you're not drinking the poison? afraid of the future or something? future's poison, my guy. planned it up years ago. drink up or get left behind!

i sure wish this horrible machine (in whose belly i am trapped) would start bleeding to death

Danny devito in always sunny stating "you would have to be a real low life piece of shit to be proud to be an American."

we slidin

imagine arguing about who someone voted for

My cat George’s front paws as he stands on my outstretched hand

share if you agree

my favorite part of the wellness coup is how 95% of communiques i get regarding my health insurance are just telling me to get a device (a thing to gather and probably transmit lots of Data about me) or download an app (also the data thing)

have you guys tried obeying in advance? this? this shit rules

legally speaking any object that spins and hums is a hurdy gurdy

the correct singular of jeeves is jeef

A plot of photos of various bat species. the x axis goes from “those feratu” to “hi doggy” and the y goes from “el wiwi” to “hear it hurgling”. In the center is THE ONE.

This chart is missing THE ONE.

when my loved ones get grey hair......nothing better

Do you ever cry at the sublime ecstasy of getting to watch your homies get old and gray and plump with you?

being scared of public transit is the kind of thing that emits so many hitler particles you can smell them in the air

please stop making me look at this

if he got run over by a riding mower you all would have said so, nobody's tricking me into watching this shit

engaging in 900 Calories Of Lunch Thought