jenny pentland

I keep losing my peanuts why can’t I keep track of them

I just handed over $20 and said “what would you do” but also there’s an app (at least in CO) that you don’t even have to speak to a person if you wanna choose specific numbers

everyone: it gets easier
it: *doesn’t get easier*

Hahaha hiiiii

He was purebred and his head was too big for his 100lb body. He would lay down after two minutes on a walk and I would have to call someone to come get us because he would not budge and I couldn’t carry him

Omg hahahaha

I wish I could try something and if I didn’t like how it felt just erase it completely. Then I could spend time finding The One

I’m scared because it’s so much harder to control the dose. Could I just whisper to the vape? That’s prob enough

That’s kinda what I did the other night was like 35 to .25 and it was nice but my stomach felt acidy from the oil capsules 😭 can I put it in my armpit or something

😂 I got them from a dispensary in Colorado but I can’t find em anywhere anymore

It’s definitely 10 cbd to 1 thc and it’s so hard to find even in Colorado. The dispensary acts like I’m coo coo when I ask for it 😭

Maybe I’m just meant to drink a lot of alcohol 😆

I have gummies that are 10:1 CBD to THC and I can take exactly one quarter of the gummy without going into a panicked existential spiral. That’s .25mg of thc that I can handle? What is wrong w me?

My 13yo just ordered an iced americano and a cheese punani at our local cafe

Way more accurate a representation of humanity than anything other piece of info

time for a new Voyager Golden Record imho

Ahahaha I love it

I hope you wore real shoes and not isotoner slippers

celebrating 30 plus years of being a fashion icon

If I’ve taught them anything…

the time my 7yo said he wanted to be a hobo when he grew up and the teacher made him erase the beer before hanging it for parent night. just popped up in my memories. Awwww

I’ve been MIA a couple years but I licked a red m&m and used it for makeup today because I forgot I had a zoom call so no one has missed anything

I like bleet so much better than skeet

I have nothing to say

Andrew Shvarts - Updates Only @Shvartacus Twitter is wild because the dumbest people are like "Mayhaps you have slandered me with that ad hominem" and the smartest people are like "my dog is a chonky boi"

Someone shared this in my replies the other day and I am still laughing

!!! this is the first time my instincts have ever been correct

😂 TY for the history lesson and also for mentioning beer, skeet and Alf in one sentence

I was hoping to leave a legacy

it’s pronounced bloo-skee or blue sky?