Jon Drake

When somebody asks how old I am, I tell them I won my first discman in a Counter-Strike tournament at an Internet cafe

🚑 EPISODE 171 - AMBULANCE 🚑
Join us for a scenic tour of Los Angeles from the back of the titular vehicle as we cover Michael Bay’s 2022 bomb AMBULANCE

I set it on fire

First day of third grade ass signature

Emerald Fennell think she Sofia Coppola, Sofia Coppola think she Francis Ford Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola think he the Hamburglar

I was terrified of apes for YEARS after my dad took me to see this movie (he was mauled to death by a gibbon in the AMC parking lot)

Delroy Lindo steals the movie in one scene.

it’s insane that a decade ago we all agreed that giving mass shooters the attention they desired was a bad thing but now because rightwingers will quite literally lie about the shooter every single time we all have to be acutely aware of the shooters intentions and ideology

I’m a stompy boi so probably Ikoria

This is such a funny thing to ask about the bird Randy Johnson hit with a 97 mph fastball causing it to fully explode

Now watching:

It really is

It’s easily his best movie in the 21st century

🤖EPISODE 170 - SHORT CIRCUIT 2 🤖
We’re going all the way back 1988 for one of the original cute movie robots. It’s SHORT CIRCUIT 2

Elon Musk when he realizes putting people on the moon is difficult: Within 10 years we will put humans in Delaware

Super Bowl commercials can be boiled down to either:
- Remember this thing? Ha ha us too
- You can gamble on gender reveals now

Star

They are!

Wise

There’s always somebody trying to start an Instagram for a dog that doesn’t really have that star quality. That dog is not charismatic enough

Yes officer, this robot threatened to kick my balls into outer space

To me, he is perfect

For decades the Right has daydreamed about saving their country from monsters, they finally got the chance and it turns out they love the monsters. The monsters are even monstrous in the exact ways they fantasized about! You never have to listen to these guys about anything again

Maybe we need to enunciate better

You need to stand out if you want to succeed in this economic landscape. Don’t just email your resume- write it on a brick and throw it through the CEO’s window

Amazon Web Services hosts massive surveillance systems for both ICE and DHS.

Citizens Bank provides nearly $1 trillion in credit & bonds to private prison companies.

AT&T has a $147 million contract to provide communications services to DHS.

Know who is profiting from ICE’s cruelty.

Dr. Kelson:

No real beef, it’s more of a running joke at this point. We’re gonna have to cover it at some point

🚀EPISODE 168 - MICKEY 17🚀
We continue our look back at 2025 with an episode about Bong Joon Ho’s return to the big screen, it’s MICKEY 17