ItsKeyes

You can’t be dressing like that, White Princess

Too many people posting about “ we need more child-free spaces.” This guy was doing the WORK

Insane how the Trump administration might give people $5000 to have a baby but they’ve yet to offer me a DIME for the twisted little homunculus I made in my subchambers

LMFAO Voice:

Has John Williams ever mentioned being inspired by “Sarabande”/the score for Barry Lyndon while composing “Duel Of The Fates”?

If you were hoping to see Bill Hader in the SNL 50th Anniversary Special, STAY IN LINE! They legally have to let you keep waiting for a Stefon appearance.

Guy who has been hit in the head with 1,000 heavy bricks and stones seeing the news today: What happened to the OLD Kanye?

Not me going to sea whenever I grow hazy about the eyes 😂

Watching Taylor Swift get The Ick in real time

Folding up my board shorts in accordance with flag code

My superpower is being able to skip ahead through podcast ads and know the cadence the host uses for ads vs their normal speaking voice

When Google Maps asks if a stalled vehicle is still there I always say “no” because that’s none of my business

Well, I guess I know who my slot in that SNL Showcase went to

Not the time, Nikolai.

My BetterHealth therapist just diagnosed me with a case of the vapours

A Robert Eggers period piece, you say? In Olde English, you say? Impossible

Tom Holland and Zendaya’s wedding will reportedly feature elements from many of their iconic films. Eagle-eyed film buffs will see nods to everything from Dune to Spider-Man to Challengers to Spider-Man to The Greatest Showman to Spider-Man.

I already feel that no restaurant should force their housemade ketchup on its patrons when Heinz exists, but today I encountered an even more devious scheme: putting housemade ketchup INTO Heinz bottles.

Imagine how hot the person who wrote “The Twelve Days Of Christmas” must’ve been.

I watched both Alien and Aliens for the first time this week. I had heard for a long time that there’s a lot of debate about which one is better, but I find it hard to believe that Alien isn’t the winner by a large margin. Aliens is great and definitely more fun, but Alien is kind of a masterpiece.

I don’t believe there’s a gay agenda but I do believe there’s a

Look, I know “My Precocious Kid Said Something Oddly Prescient About Our Current Sociopolitical Climate” is one of the worst posting genres, BUT…sometimes they do be saying that stuff

“I’m so sick of all these sequels and remakes”
-Guy In the 1930s Leaving his 47th Flash Gordon serial

Without AI, we’d never have an iconic poster for the movie Jaws

Luigi’s Manchurian candidate

The UHC Killer strikes again

I’ve actually played a couple reindeer games and they suck. Vague rules, unclear scoring system etc. They did Rudolph a favor if you ask me.

Austin Powers was so groundbreaking because no one had ever imagined the concept of a fat bastard

Doing Elf On The Shelf is a sign of low moral character. Perpetrating such japes in service of a malicious fiction is something I cannot abide.

Tired: Watching Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice on VOD

Wired: Watching Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice through my neighbor’s giant picture window (that they refuse to put a curtain in front of) while I’m taking my nightly walk.