🗡️Blaine The Conqueror🗡️

If nobody ever asks me to be in their wedding again it’ll be too soon

Never worn a jockstrap before but I just ordered some from Amazon to see how they feel 😬

I don’t know how to hand knit, but I’ve thought about crocheting while running. I’ll have to practice while walking and see how that goes haha

And how do I make it mildly thirst trappy?

What’s the intersection between running and crocheting/machine knitting and how do I make that my internet personality?

Love? What’s that? 😭

Went for a short run on my lunch break to boost my mood and break in my new shoes and got a new 1 mile PR 😤

#RunnersOfBluesky #BlackskyFitness #FitnessSky

How am I supposed to get through this work day without my headphones

Biologically I understand how babies are made, but I feel like if there was a literal person growing inside of me I’d be horrified for 9 months that there is a human forming in me and then permanently traumatized afterward. Idk if I could wrap my head around that. Like where tf did this come from?

Didn’t get paid today. I have no incentive to work.

Take 6 and the Mississippi Mass Choir coming through to add in extra seasoning

You cannot convince me that listening to gospel music while you cook doesn’t make your food better 😮‍💨🙌🏾

Fred, Kirk, and John P. Kee ushering the Spirit into this chicken 🎶 ⛪️

Name a better duo?

Actually my #SOTU2026 drinking game is just drinking every time I feel a sense of despair and impending doom. I’m drunk.

#SOTU2026 Drinking game: drink every time the sycophants stand up and applaud tr*mp

Exactly 😂

My niece just turned 1 and started walking. Tell me why my great aunt got her a purse 😆

Oh wait I just checked and I’m number 2 🔥

Signed up about 45 seconds after you announced registration was live, I wonder what number I’ll be haha

Counting down the days til my home away from home next month 🇵🇷

If my ig DMs got leaked I’d probably have to move planets

For sure!

Re-reading “The Song of Achilles” why am I doing this to myself 😭

Did my first run post hamstring injury + recovery last night and felt amazing!
Time to get back to work 😤

COUNT YOUR FUCKING DAYS YOU FAT BITCH

Thanks to inappropriate work conversation I now know exactly how many times I have to have sex to give one mile of dick.

I can feel Valentine’s Day approaching

Literally every commercial break is GLP-1 and Hims and I can’t look at them the same 😭

Just started watching The Beauty and that’s what I’ll be doing for the next few hours cause I’m hooked immediately WTF

I am happy Atlanta’s minor league team will get better attendance though