Rigor mortis sounds like a band that samples whale song with theremin instrumentals and it's really highbrow actually, but they'll sell the rights to a Coleman's mustard poem advert that encourages the nation to eat Sunday lunch
It's either like that 1950's Invaders from Mars film where aliens leave a weird wound on the neck, or it's rigor mortis
There's lucky!!
The actual saying is "Beware the IDEAS of March" because they're never good ones. Don't go having ideas this month.
A rectangle of lime green. The top half is slightly different to the bottom half because i'm really good at this. My score was 9.98
That's right, I *am* going to be insufferable
Dialed.gg
Screenshot of my dialed.gg game. "Results Okay, this is actually good. We hate admitting that" Top 1% of all players 47.00/50 9.92 9.85 8.59 8.88 9.76
Any of you played dialed.gg
That's all it was, wasn't it? If the ball went far everyone chanted ROUNDERS! ROUNDERS!
Does anyone remember the rules to Rounders?
A screenshot of a page that lists facts about eels. It says "3. What's That Smell? (Cont.)". There is a picture of an eel with animal print style markings that makes it look a bit like Pat Butcher. Under the picture it says "this ability to smell their quarry helps them to survive and thrive in the underwater"
Excuse me?
Ghislaine and the Giant Impeachable
Is that anything?
Regretro: something you did a long time ago that you regret, but with the passage of time it doesn't seem so bad, so why not do it again?
Every day I wake up and deal with people romanticizing the early 2000s and making me feel old
Juicy on the ass
Someone a decade+ younger than I asked me if I saw the Matrix in theaters and how cool that must have been
A still from Spirited Away. Yubaba, an old businesswoman and antagonist who replaces people's names is reading from a piece of paper and the caption says "Palm Beach International Airport, that's your name, yes?"
"And it belongs to me now"
Swinging the back of your hand into a door handle should get a mention. Stubbing your toe keeps stealing the limelight and it's time to even things out.
My nose is so bunged up i don't understand why my head isn't shaped like an incandescent bulb. It feels like it should be
"How about A problem told is a problem solved?"
"I like it but that's quite a risky guarantee. Got anything else?"
"How about A problem shared is a problem halved?"
"Not very catchy, is it?"
"Ok then. What about Tell me your dilemma, I won't tell Emma?"
"That's the one!"
Murmuration?
An eel looking right at you with cartoonish googly eyes
Medieval artists probably impressed everyone by getting eels spot on and the people were like "draw me a cat" and it wasn't until they'd got to pigs that the people were like "....huh"
I shit you not, I'm pretty sure this is the first cold I have had since December 2019. I've had The Other Oneβ’οΈ twice. This feels old school. It smells like the first week of October.
Oh thank fuck. She's back. Her eyes are orange. It's fine.
Damn it. I should plan better
The next sneeze may result in option 3. Both happening at the same time
I can't go in and ask to use their loo because 1. I am full of a snotty cold, and 2. The deal was I don't have to get out of the car. I'm wearing a giant Lenny Kravitz style scarf that's glued to my face from snot. I think my jumper is on backwards.
I'm sat waiting in my mum's car like an 8 year old in the 1990's while she gets tested at a specialist opticians, which just happens to be on remote farmland on Ynys MΓ΄n. I need a pee and I've eaten through a whole packet of halls cherry soothers.
Will I piss myself of shit myself first?
I have a cold
Hahaha! I knew it reminded me of something
An eel looking like its just cracked a joke
"Ayyyyyy"
Two eels being ridiculous aqua-tubes. The one on the left is looking right at you with its mouth wide open like it's slagging off your new haircut, the one on the right is looking at you with a worried expression.
Why are eels?
I'm back on the protein shakes after a 10 month break and it turns out all those vitamins were pretty useful
Today I have mostly been handwashing my socks, just like the shepherds in that hymn
