vorbitori vaś e mule

Better late than never - there is a lot in there not acted on yet and people just now finding and responding to posts can find strength and resolve the more they follow the threads

the mechanics of being "ashamed" are becoming very important to understand these days. very different from "shame". Being "ashamed" invokes grieving, anger, hurt, sadness, loneliness, as well as a sense of justice, strength and bravery. it requires rituals and practices of grounding #witchsky

stabilize the whole. We have discussed the risk, but emphasize that this just a delay for me. It is such an odd decision, but it is the superior decision. Now, I just have to build the life around it -- and f cking dread calling my neurosurgeon today as they are not holistically inclined

Here I am - her support. Such as it is. No one is really expecting me to live more than 5 more years anyway. The recovery from this procedure will be hugely demanding and fuck it, I'm a DNR. Right now, the risk to take is to help the person who everyone depends on rebuild her foundations ...

My spouse is just ... coming apart at the seams from stress - job, life, her health, my health, trying to deal with our adult son who has autism/learning disabilities, her mom & dad - who live with us have health and dementia showing up, our daughter who is struggling with things and (cont)

Here is the thing -- I should be 4 weeks out from the procedure but I had to put a stop to it all. That was a hard thing, but neccessary and okay - but I am struggling to find my footing (pun) and a way to get through the next year or so until the time is better for me to have it done (contd)

...8 to 12 mini strokes, plus 8 to 10 hours under general anesthesia which will cause significant cognitive issues. It will, hopefully, remove the catastrophic risk, but won't remove any symptoms I may have been acquiring. My world is a little silent - it's hard to talk, to do etc. But (cont)

... a 40% chance of catastrophic bleed on my brainstem. The procedure they used caused about 8 to 12 mini strokes just to find that out. My aphasia, balance, etc is pretty bad. The proposed procedure to possibly fix it will come at the price of another (cont'd)

And a health update - so I found out in addition to my cerebral aneurysm I have spontaneously developed a dAVF anterior to my brainstem. It's a rare location, they think it is related to my combat experiences (which boy, has that retriggered my PTSD in all new ways) and currently has a (cont'd)

As I venture into solo rpg, it appears that everything around my altar is joining me. It occurred to me that a narrative rpg can function much like a soul map - now I am exploring this as a tool. Also, the 2 crow fledglings call and ruffle when dog and I come out because it's snack time. #witchsky

It's wonderful. I am a Clockwork Carrion Crow who is so young and dumb I can't find my way out of a paper bag.

Difficult, So much is going on, but most important of all - the crow fledglings are here. They get dropped off in the yard every morning at 8. Strangely enough I have begun to play a solo RPG called "Be Like A Crow" and all my everything has come to play with me. #witchesunited #rpg #belikeacrow

Oh, I lost street cred... turns out the whole neighborhood has been in silent awe of my "homing" pigeons only for me to get into this awkward, over-the-fence conversation and say "no, they're not mine, they just like me and get excited when I come out" #witchsky #augury

So, in my garden are uneven rock/cement pile and wood steps to practice your taichi on. Hard as steel you stand, flowing as water you must move to make it between the stones or you disturb the koi who line up to watch you. And the crows, the crows who laugh at you #WitchesUnited

I caught on early with the help of my maternal grandparents who all but hated my mother for her burgeoning beliefs. It was, "kittens in burlap bags" as Nana put in. "Dried shit sold as coal" as grandpa said. Grandpa picked up cars off the ground for a lark when he was drunk but Nana had a pistol.

I have the odd vantage point of self-hatred history. I was raised by people who were ignorant of history's main lesson that if you start as "other" you cannot educate, buy, or buy-in to something enough to make yourself acceptable

So...here is an ugly cocktail - I am the parent of someone with autism, a child (no longer speaking terms) of an old school eugenecist and I support my right wing in-laws who live with me (who I don't have the luxury of X-ing out of my life). Plus - my own disabling condition is hitting warp drive.

There is magic in un-gardening. I am making a quiet space as I am in a very still and suspended time right now. So I un-garden by digging up the lawn and letting local plants return. The crows come and talk and laugh about it all day. #Witchsky

I saw this last night plus the article listing the latest in numbers fleeing IRS and thought "oh boy"

"Touch earth" sometimes literally, we have a practice of moving a stack of rocks in a garden for no other purpose than when you have become lost you go move your rocks until you have found yourself again

Black and white picture of a juncko bird, adapted from someone else's photo but their credit wasn't listed where I got it

Breathing. Checking in. In between all the rain I wound up stepping outside and into an encounter with a little juncko wren that stunned itself on the glass escaping the hawk. So I held it, whistled the yard song and it went to sleep for an hour before waking up in a flurry and bounce. #Witchsky

Singing is a core part of my practice. There are just endless forms from very ritualistic and formulaic chants, mantras, supplications, to more free form whistling that are unique to the practitioner

Scoop: DOE proposes shutting down clean energy office A departmental presentation describes how the agency plans to quickly carry out DOGE cuts in the office.

The U.S. Energy Department is proposing to shut down its Office of Clean Energy Demonstrations - which is a goal of Project 2025

Project 2025, Page 369: "The DOE Office of Clean Energy Demonstrations (OCED)...should be eliminated"

www.axios.com/pro/energy-p...

After a profound "incident" or soul-challenging encounter, there should be foundational rebuilding rather than confirmational wall construction. If it makes sense, I am making circles on the Earth with my feet while pushing the air with my hands and chanting old things #witchsky #witchesunited

The EU press, in slamming a parliamentary choice about an AI tool for an info analyzer said "when you want facts, why would you ask a gossiper?" There in lies how I see AI, a tool yes, but a very limited one that makes connections and assumptions that are often invalid

#HandsOFF #LosAngeles

BOSTON

What an absolutely incredible sight in New York City today.

This is so odd, we have our own hateful crescent, but shaped more like a pac man in RI that has been desperately trying to gobble the coast and cities