side note I’m only gonna add games I finish or play a good chunk of, since these events usually don’t require a full playthrough - see Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles, in which I only needed to beat stage 4, and Arcana Heart 2, which I cleared Arcade Mode on once. Not enough to form an opinion
Though even then there aren’t many mechanics that would make this interesting since all you really do is run and gun with very minimal and rudimentary platforming and vehicle segments sprinkled in
You do get to play as a gorilla though :]
It’s neat that you unlock a hard mode that doubles the amount of levels, even if those levels are pretty similar to the normal ones anyway, but it’s a bit of a shame there’s only two levels (out of 30) that let you switch between all three heroes
It controls pretty well (mostly - the total lack of coyote time resulted in more deaths than it would have otherwise) but combat’s pretty mindless; run towards the right and mash the shoot button. There are so many health pickups that you really don’t have to worry about getting hit
Action Man throws throwing stars at several yellow robots who begin to explode into tiny pieces. Rating: Shrug
2026 - 40
Action Man: Robot Atak
Gonna chip away at some of RA’s evergreen events every now and then as well and this was first on the docket
A totally cromulent meat-and-potatoes shoot ‘em up/platformer that’s over before you can come to hate it
I liked Jason Momoa’s character. I did enjoy the villain being some guy who just wants to fuck with them and make them suffer rather than build super soldiers or blow up the world or whatever, even if he’s just a discount, slightly cringe Joker. It’s a nice change of pace at least
The two-part nature of the movie isn’t all that satisfying. Some plot threads aren’t resolved, and Shaw just completely disappears
And the weird little spat between Tej and Roman is the kinda cliche B-plot you’d expect out of a weekly sitcom, not a multi-hundred-million-dollar movie lmao
And John Cena’s character, who is now the fun uncle archetype, is a total departure from how he was depicted in the last one - let alone his heroic sacrifice coming out of absolutely fucking nowhere (and even then, he’s totally coming back to life, right?)
-from a thumbs up to a shrug for me.
The start of the movie is also really up itself treating these characters like they’re prolific heroes as if most of the series isn’t them heisting their way to saving the day lol
I really liked the raised stakes on this one, and it’s good that they’re finally willing to kill characters off (Jakob) since there’s now at least some urgency - but then they undo that by bringing back Gal Godot’s character at the end for no fucking reason and that was enough to bring it down-
Jason Momoa’s character, whose name I cannot remember, kinda looking like Jesus as he exits his purple muscle car. Rating: Shrug
2026 - 39
Fast X
why did this need to end on a cliffhanger LOL
Maybe a bit too much backtracking for my liking, but the controls are decent, boss battles can be pretty good, and the localization is towing a fine line between complete ass and totally entertaining. Plus you get to be a round dragon thing :]
It means you have to inch through the game so you don’t accidentally walk into enemies since you’re given no reasonable time to react. It really really fuckin sucks honestly
Which is a shame cause i was having fun with the rest of the game, as simple as it was
It’s the camera. It’ll pan when you’re walking towards a particular direction, as you’d expect, but only when you’re on the side of the screen you’re walking towards - the screen pans left when you’re on the left of the screen, and same for the right
Mail, a red haired woman clad in armour, stands behind a rotund tanuki soldier. Rating: Shrug
2026 - 38
Popful Mail (Sega CD)
Abandoned, mostly because I forgot to save and lost way too much progress lmao. Even so, it’s a frustrating game, even with the Japanese balance patch to make it easier again, and it’s one simple change away from being a thumbs up I think
-take on the name of any other licensed property. Even the text boxes don’t match up with the dialogue lmao. I think literally nearly text box is wrong. It’s just incredible
I’ve played worse and I’m sure kids would’ve liked it well enough but this will disappear from my brain in a few days
There are some fun details I like - die enough and Donald throws his hat on the ground when respawning, get hit and he enters that classic cartoon fight cloud thingy and can take enemies down while in this state. But otherwise it’s too basic and is a few model swaps away from being able to-
Hitboxes are ridiculous and it’s a crapshoot whether you actually bounce off an enemy’s head or dodge a hazard safely or not. Sometimes Donald straight up would not jump when I told him to, either - this turned a piss-easy final boss into an absolute slog
From what I understand this is a pretty watered down version of the game compared to its 47,821 ports. You jump, you punch, and that’s it, and that’d be fine if the rest of the game was good and eeehhhhhh. If it’s not boring it’s being really frustrating
Donald Duck leaps into the air in the middle of the forest level select room. One of his nieces stands on one of the warp pads (I don’t remember which one and I do not care to find out). Rating: Shrug
2026 - 37
Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers
Mastery no. 3 on RA! I only had to beat world 3 to get achievement of the week but that was 75% of the game so I just went ahead and beat it
Anyway what if Crash Bandicoot sucked a little bit
Why not chuck some islands along those routes to explore? There are islands but they’re almost always home to Fishermen and secret bases and nothing else
It’s the only thing holding me back from giving it a tail wag and I’m curious if Emerald will do enough to get a tail wag (I never finished it)
There’s still some silly stuff - requiring Flash for Victory Road is diabolical - and on the topic of Too Much Water, I don’t mind the water routes visually but it results in less Pokémon variety, both as catchables and as opponents. The end of the game is just kinda dull.
There’s a lot of cool stuff going on - the addition of natures is great (even if it makes catching desirable Pokémon more of a grind), level-up movesets are largely more exciting, and location variety makes Hoenn a great region. Route 119 is one of my favourite places in all Pokémon games tbh!
The player, as the female protagonist, runs across a bridge overlooking a forest and a waterfall, during a downpour. Rating: Thumbs Up
2026 - 36
Pokémon Ruby
IGN have always been right about Hoenn and no one wants to admit it but aside from the half a dozen water routes, Hoenn’s pretty great. Ruby itself is great, but I don’t see much of a reason to play this or Sapphire over Emerald nowadays
A Citroen rally car racing along a dirt road. Rating: Arms Crossed Angy Rantsona Pose
2026 - 35
Sebastien Loeb Rally EVO
Handling is dogshit and it’s rife with weird technical issues, like trackside objects flickering in and out of existence. I’m glad I paid less than five dollars for this lmao
Which, tbh, was fine to me lol. I’m a Holdo Maneuver defender so I saw that (and the scene in the jungle which IMO is MUCH sillier) and went “oh yeah ok cool haha.” I dunno man, apparently this is the worst one and if so then this series is nowhere near as bad as people say it is
Revealing Han was alive this whole time felt like them regretting killing him off, and Dom not mentioning his brother for eight movies when he’s so hellbent on spreading the word of the Good Church of Family feels pretty silly too - somehow, sillier than a Pontiac Fiero flying in space
An orange Toyota GR Supra drives alongside a large black truck that is tipping forward, sending its connected trailers into the air. Rating: Shrug
2026 - 34
F9: The Fast Saga
Same problem I had with F&F4 where the cool action setpieces are undermined by a kinda boring plot that takes itself way too seriously. I liked the start and finish but whatever was going on in the middle had me tuning out tbh
I would’ve loved to see a slightly chunkier career mode, perhaps with regional or manufacturer-exclusive events, for more chances to make money. Aside from that, you really can’t complain about much else - this is a confident little racing game with great physics and a killer soundtrack. Good shit!
since most cars do handle pretty similarly.
I’m also still not 100% sold on this overhead camera style but it mostly works here, aside from a few stages where trees get in the way or the camera doesn’t pan up fast enough. The co-driver is also hilariously incorrect at times lmao
