Nick Pelling

So are you celebrating today or not? 🤔

Every intermediate form between a bikini bottom and a thong is basically a stylised wedgie.

I just read the Epstein birthday book.

It's dismal sexual exploitation, dressed up as NY power porn.

Everyone in the book should be in prison, or at least engulfed in an avalanche of very public shame.

Publish every name. Publish them now.

"Your story can't fail the Bechdel Test if it's only got one female character" in front of a so-stupid-it's-smart meme background.

It's a bit mad that QAnon's mad account of the Epstein files appears more credible than the one now being offered by the President.

To be honest, the latter feels more like something a third rate improv troupe might attempt.

Inkpad works for me. 😸

Technically, the only animal you can kidnap is a goat.

The small print, ruefully. 😬

It's like she never went away. God help us all.

'The Russian military sucks' is quite the understatement. 😬

Cut out the middle men. Vote Binny.

why does "you've read your last free article" sound so threatening

Yuri Knorozov, who deciphered the Maya cript in 1952, credited his cat Asya as a co-author—though editors always removed her. He used a photo with Asya as his author portrait and got upset whenever she was cropped out.

Good morning

I learnt about fictional crocodiles on TikTok.

You had that one prepped, I'll wager.

There ain't no Sanity Claws?

Tails of the unexpected!

So bite me

I'm excited about seeing the latest in animatronics at the White House later.

Why the long face?

Laters

#WeekendAtDonny's

Sade: Huge Alligator

Everyone: no, that's not the words

Sade: Huge... Alligator

Everyone: no, are you feeling ok?

Sade: Huge Alligator!

Huge Alligator: chomp chomp chomp chomp

Which ones are Aliens and which ones are Predators?

Soundtrack: #HugeOrangeTraitor

He can't even tell the truth about being alive or dead.

Probably not yet, but your crate of prosecco will still be good for a while.

I JUST MET THESE THREE CRAZY GUYS WHO APPEARED IN MY BEDROOM, BUT FRANKLY I'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH RIDICULOUS SOCIALIST STORIES SINCE SLEEPY JOE WAS IN 'POWER', I THINK I'LL CARRY ON JUST AS I AM. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER!

That's a duff response (which I heartily approve).

Everyone knows Jack Daniels Old No. 7 brand. But what came before?

Old No. 6: Divorce In A Bottle
Old No. 5: Punch Drunk Punch
Old No. 4: It's Gonna Work This Time, I Swear
Old No. 3: I'll Fight You All... I Love You, Man
Old No. 2: Fire Hazard, Do Not Inhale
Old No. 1: When Alchemy Goes Bad

Her rep-oh-oh-oh-yeah-baby