The river is really high today, so it would of course be about a bunch of lads going for a swim, the last scene being the remains of little Trevor being dragged out of the estuary at Berwick by a sickened fisherman.
Sign screwed to a tree by the River Teviot: KELSO ANGLING ASSOCIATION FISHING ON THESE WATERS PROHIBITED EXCEPT BY PERMIT FROM THE ABOVE.
To be honest, there’s no-one more qualified to sort out the fishing permits than Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Colonel-In-Chief Sir Harry Flashman VC
Roxburgh Castle on the banks of the Teviot at Kelso.
“Camelot!”
“Camelot!”
“It’s only a model”
“Shhh!”
She went to her grave cursing you.
The UK Eurovision entry is… quite good actually.
Forgot the hashtag #TheFootballBanter
Sad spurs fan.
Sad spurs fan.
Sad spurs fan.
Please remember when mocking sad Tottenham fans that these are real people with feelings and families who made the brave life choice to support that particular football club and oh god ha ha ha ha ha [breathes] ha ha ha oh god ha ha haaaaargh
Spurs, eh?
That’s it. That’s the post.
I’d say the other way round.
Kim Jong Un having a fag.
I. AM. HAVING. A. FAG.
Kim Jong Un and flunkies on the bow of a ship.
“I’m king of the world!”
Kim Jong Un With heavily camouflaged soldiers.
Once again Kim Jong Un is Billy No-Mates, all alone in the middle of a field.
Seconds before he is sliced to pieces like so much cheese.
Coming out of it very badly:
🔸 John Knox
🔸 James VI of Scotland
Blummin’ obsessed they were.
I’ll tell you what else about Shayan - Bloody nice guy. I loved working with him.
I have a fair idea which of our chickens it came out of. She’s the one who’s been walking funny.
Me holding a very long egg. Bewildered dog in background.
Look at this exceedingly long egg. Bewildered dog for scale.
I see what you did there.
Weymouth & Portland: News and Views ••• Derek Hi can anybody help me please I asked for a clairvoyant in or around this area for a reading, was giving a name Vicky ive tried to message her but can't seem to get hold of her it anyone could help I would be most appreciated many thanks Derek. Vicky I've messaged you derek I'm not receiving your messages for some reason.
Vicky’s not receiving #FacebookNews
We going to a talk tonight on The History of Scottish Witches, and I expect the following groups to come out of it very badly:
🔸 Men
…and frankly, we deserve it.
I have recently moved and we day TWO bins days.
The Dundee Evening Telegraph not fucking about with the headline.
Me, out in the snow, pointing at bins. I am wearing hi-vis, a lanyard and a fez.
On World Book Day, a flashback to the time I dressed up as the book “Angry People In Local Newspapers” (Alistair Coleman, Penguin Random House, 2018)
A homonculus out off of Small Prophets.
“Are Tottenham going to be relegated or what?” #SmallProphets
Brilliantly put.
He’s fallen in the water
Tonight’s results mean Spurs are only one point above the drop zone (they play tomorrow and it’s squeaky bum time)
VERY SATISFACTORY #TheArsenal
*2017-2021
