*to the tune of Eleanor Rigby*
Mordecai, Rigby
Muscle Man, Benson
& Pops, & there’s Skips, Hi-Five Ghost
Regular Show
31.01.2026 12:43
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*to the tune of Eleanor Rigby*
Mordecai, Rigby
Muscle Man, Benson
& Pops, & there’s Skips, Hi-Five Ghost
Regular Show
Monkey Barrel, One 23:55-02:45ish Sundays-Wednesdays August 3-6, 10-13, 17-20, 24 £8.50/PWYW on exit noblefailure.org tinyurl.com/acms25 monkeybarrelcomedy.com #ACMS | @AltComMemSoc @BarrelComedy
Less than a month till #edfringe? Here, have a time-ordered list of gig recommendations: noblefailure.org/ed25
With e.g. @misterabk.bsky.social, @alexanderybennett.bsky.social, @camsh.bsky.social, @jainedwards.bsky.social, @turlygod.bsky.social, @tommayhew.bsky.social and 400ish others. Wahoo!
BREAKING: Oasis cancel all remaining tour dates after Liam & Noel fall out over what Ralph Wiggum meant when he said "oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking".
Sources overheard Noel shouting "he excels at sleep, you dozy prick!", & Liam responding "he literally dreams he's a viking, knobhead!"
The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS) The Phoenix, Cavendish Sq, by Oxford Circus Monday 14th April 2025, 7:30pm-10:40ish Thom Tuck & Joz Norris (MCs) and a glorious cavalcade of excellent guests: Ali Brice, Ben Target, Cameron Sinclair-Harris, Hari Kanth, Kathy Maniura, Matt Highton, Natasha Sutton-Williams, Pope Lonergan, Sam Eley, Sharlin Jahan, Steffen Hånes £10 online, from wegottickets.com £12 at the gig, doors open 7pm noblefailure.org
#ACMS
📆 TONIGHT
🏰 The Phoenix
🎟️ £10 till 5pm from wegottickets.com/event/653549/, then £12 on the door from 7pm
😻 hosted by @turlygod.bsky.social & @joznorris.bsky.social, with e.g. @camsh.bsky.social, @matthighton.bsky.social AND MORE
🌈 free guestlist for trans & non-binary folk, DM us your names
Idea for a Black Mirror episode where emojis are alive & feel things & have their own emoji societies in peoples phones, & one emoji emotes the wrong thing so is on the cusp of being deleted & has to go on a quest with other emojis to fix himself & one of the emojis is James Corden
Right I'm back, what have I missed
I'M DOING A SHOW AT @sohotheatre.bsky.social IN ONE MONTH!!!
I will become every planet in the solar system before your very eyes. PLANETS!!! is an absurd, existential comedy about finding hope. It would mean the absolute world(s) to see you there xx 🪐👩🚀
sohotheatre.com/events/camer...
Is the weather outside frightful? Or is it your attitude that's frightful?
£8 for STILL WATER???
Bold of the Rolling Stones to assume that I've only had 19 nervous breakdowns
You know full well if somebody in a song is on their hands & knees, there's a 99% chance they're gonna be begging you please
Malcolm in the LIDL
"It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid"
Well I wasn't afraid until you said that
Last Christmas, I gave you a little version of me, but the very next day, you gave it away
Somewhere out there, there's a Waluigi Mangione who protects CEOs
I saw Mummy pegging Santa Claus
I had a dream recently where we were under some sort of Mandela effect where we believed that Chappell Roan's breakthrough hit was called 'Hot To Go!' but it was actually called 'Wet To Go!'
I should be the most followed account on this app, what the hell guys
6 minutes into December, already been Whamageddoned. Stay safe. It's a jungle out there.
👊
I had a dream where I was in the tram crash episodes of Coronation Street & it was like a survival horror but Ringo Starr was narrating it like he would an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine, also that Donald & Douglas, the Scottish twin trains from Thomas the Tank Engine, were real people
Thom Yorke! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
I have an ass that WILL quit. In fact, it just has. It handed in its 2 week notice today.
I spend my days sat on park benches
Looking at lone magpies
Waiting for a second to show up.
Come on, you monochromatic fuckers.
Bring me joy.
*SPOILERS FOR PADDINGTON IN PERU*
The post-credits scene with Sally Hawkins was genuinely such a twist, omg
*sighs*