The lesbian wifeguy

WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME SLAY THE SPIRE 2 CAME OUT YESTERDAY... ON MY DAY OFF??!! AHHH

Thank you...😭

God bring me back to the days where seeing Raid shadow legends ads on a random playthrough video was the most annoying thing about my day... take me back i wanna go back

That explains alot I had to delete Raid Shadow Legends, because of you! one of the biggest mobile role-playing games of 2025 and it's totally free! Currently almost 10 million users have joined Raid

Good time of day to you too

Everyday I wake up...

Good morning you beautiful bastards in my phone 💜

I was so confused it was great

Bok bok 🇫🇷

The beautiful woman in my bed just told me that I am not old and in fact a French chicken.. I think she ment spring chicken but ill take it 😊

Vibes based dog accounting..

I am truly distraught

I was informed that I am infact not alowed to buy 20 mc'chickens despite having the requisite amount of American money dollars as Mr McDonalds has deemed it "too early" for a succulent feast of mc'chickens

I feel like I live in a dark souls like every time America invades a country they are trying to rekindle the flame and everytime they do things keep going but are way shittier...

I hate this.. im not leaving my bed today.. fuck these imperialist pig-dogs.. and death to the state that empowers them

A YouTube thumbnail nail of the game project zomboid that reads in large text "you will die"

This is the first thing I saw when I opened my phone this morning and im like "damn, you dont have to remind me..."

So I have this sort of mental stim where I start translating English songs into Spanish and im translating "we are Charlie Kirk" against my will and I hate being neurodivergent its fucking awesome

Im really like what has dropped from kneecaps new album but I will forever adore that their first songs are best played from shitty phone speakers😊

I was given one singular dr. Pepper after weeks of not having caffeine and now I feel like a god..

So tru!!

Busting through the wall as a trans kool-aid woman like:

TIME TO GO GOBLIN STYLE!

Thank you for showing we this regal buddy I needed that!

Like im feeling what some people feel when they see a baby rn like I need to get a dog. I almost died today when my coworker showed we her dog wtf..

I couldn't have said it better myself!

Arff arff arff....

Lmao noted🤣🤣

To all my fellow dumb bitches out there remember: the smoothest brain slides the farthest..

Unfortunately I dont lmaoo

Dude the one thing I hate about having roommates is i can't cook at 3 am while basting some reggaeton in my underwear fml