Anyway you wouldn’t have problems if you didn’t have screen time so we’re taking your ipad away
06.03.2026 16:13
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Anyway you wouldn’t have problems if you didn’t have screen time so we’re taking your ipad away
Like, that is peak, you are the dumbest and worst humanity has atm rn when it comes to personal shit (not systemic dont tell me war is worse no shit)
Not to kick people when they’re down (I think it’s more like pouring water on them) but giving a chat bot anxiety means you shouldn’t be allowed screen time lmfao
📝
Smashing it: Haha! Yes! Yesssss!!!!
4.1 seconds later: well this fucking sucks. Shit.
Strategic Soil Reserves
Me encanta
The 3 Words to Unlock Executive Success (‘What’s Good, dog?’)
Authorities announce Lobopants Estupido has escaped
Saying “smoking on That Shit That Killed Jesus” as my response to the office icebreaker question ‘what are you excited for this weekend’
Not a consumable imo but youre right
Billy Corgan announces Matchbox-20 Reunion!!!
Billy idol crazy for this one imo
🎶Bottle of josh, bottle of John 🎶
i should stop spendig all my time at the accursed temple
Straight from the well to the dome baby we calling that the Permian 2-Step
“I named it that cause of my dad”. your dad had a terrible name, dog. Was with you up until the name ,
Ion even wan hear about not mf ‘refinery’ bitch we hit that shit RAW
We all got that one homie who’s always taking a Bottle of Josh to the dome
Hampton Roads forges fuming
They should do a tourism ad with that, it’s good
Real poncho in this instance
Walking in Memphis voice “when I was walking in Paris”
I was walking in Paris with a guy I knew who was wearing a poncho they’d bought in Cusco once (hilarious tbh) and some kinda drunk guy shouted from across the street “Vive le Mexique!” and he looked at me and frowned and said “the temptation to educate is strong but likely imprudent”
Pondering for the morning, ty
george w bush-ass metric. Baffled illiterate ass
Barrel a deeply unserious unit of measurement for anythint that isn’t like snacks or whatever
Saying “Poule de Bois” in a Cajun accent so potent it makes me blind
Laughing, Simply
An absolute fave. I used to about it when my wife was listing all the shit we were gonna do on a Saturday and she had to ask me to stop. A fave in a similar vein is “PROXIMAMENTE PORRRR UNIVISION” as a transition