Verified Tom Carpenter's Avatar

Verified Tom Carpenter

@tomcarpenter

Chronicler of the Apocalypse. Wearing flip-flops on the subway is unsanitary.

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Latest posts by Verified Tom Carpenter @tomcarpenter

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“Zendaya’s mom looks nothing like I expected her to.” -my husband, upon seeing this in his feed.

08.03.2026 00:38 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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And this is all he had to replace Noem.

06.03.2026 21:15 👍 11217 🔁 4120 💬 2363 📌 621
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There have been some very bad developments today.

07.03.2026 01:03 👍 7198 🔁 2753 💬 730 📌 281

This is bananas. Presidents get blamed all the time for the price of gas, and this is literally the only time that I can remember when it’s actually the President’s fault.

07.03.2026 01:36 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Nice attempt at a pivot, but you’re complicit, too.

07.03.2026 01:33 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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They Met in an E.R. and Were Married at the Super Bowl

I got weepy reading this, and to me, it’s proof that there are people creating moments of beauty in the world. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/24/s...

07.03.2026 01:30 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A Jan. 6 rioter pardoned by Trump was sentenced to life in prison for child sex abuse Since receiving presidential pardons, dozens of former Capitol rioters have gotten into more legal trouble. In Florida, Andrew Paul Johnson was sentenced to life in prison for child sex abuse.

How do we live in a country where shit like this happens. What has become of America?

06.03.2026 21:35 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It’s his lifelong dream to go to prison?

06.03.2026 02:08 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

When I say I hope she dies in prison, I’m envisioning a prison where there are packs of wild dogs looking for vengeance for their kind.

06.03.2026 02:07 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Until she dies in jail, I won’t believe this corruption matters.

05.03.2026 23:14 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Yeah, but Stalin died and…things got better?

05.03.2026 23:12 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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Adam is So. Cute. !! Look at him trying to sidle up to The Gays, when he can’t even spell Felicia. Adorbs.

05.03.2026 23:09 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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wow -- Tillis goes ballistic on Noem, telling her "what we've seen is a disaster under your leadership"

03.03.2026 17:51 👍 27014 🔁 7096 💬 1459 📌 838
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And after he’s done addressing that, can he also talk to the country about the suppressed evidence that he raped and beat a little girl?

02.03.2026 16:06 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Now that the Dow is below 50,000 (points, not dollars, unless you're dum-dum Pam Bondi), are we allowed to focus on the Epstein files again? Huh, Pam? Can we talk about that, now?

02.03.2026 14:38 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

THREE jets shot down by friendly fire. Not one. Not two. THREE. That shows you what a shit-show this is going to be. Ready. FIRE. Aim.

02.03.2026 12:04 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Free To Be... You And Me
Free To Be... You And Me YouTube video by The New Seekers - Topic

As a child, I was led to believe that this sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen. www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCUG...

28.02.2026 23:47 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Your drag name should be Raquel Surprise.

28.02.2026 23:29 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I heard Sean Duffy doesn’t know how to read, and he has trained monkeys who tweet for him.

28.02.2026 23:26 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Kansas Sends Letters To Trans People Demanding The Immediate Surrender Of Drivers Licenses "The legislature did not include a grace period."

Templated, state-by-state repercussions could [read: will] quickly ensue from this. I imagine lawsuits are already fully in motion to stop it, at least tempoararily.

But I stand with my trans and nonbinry friends and colleagues to say: Enough.

www.erininthemorning.com/p/kansas-sen...

26.02.2026 13:43 👍 0 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0

Two quick reminders that (1) there are people who are paid to (a) watch the State of the Union and (b) tell you what was said in it; and (2) it almost never matters what is said in it any more than any other political speech that you probably don’t feel the need to watch.

24.02.2026 15:17 👍 334 🔁 54 💬 13 📌 9

This is why we need public media. Journalism that’s not constrained by commercial considerations and is publicly funded, but free from political control.

24.02.2026 17:24 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Your tax dollars at work.

23.02.2026 03:17 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

He's doing this instead of running the country. Maybe that's an up-side?

22.02.2026 20:57 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Armed Man Is Fatally Shot at Mar-a-Lago, Secret Service Says

Someone tried to exercise his 2nd Amendment rights at Mar-A-Lago. It did not end well.

22.02.2026 19:01 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

He may have been drunk, to be honest…

21.02.2026 15:23 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Here’s how capitalism works: if a news outlet you read/watch isn’t giving you unvarnished news, you stop paying for that shit and go elsewhere. That’s assuming that you’re not in a country with viable public media—news that’s publicly funded but not subject to commercial or political constraints.

21.02.2026 01:41 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Lives upended for 4400 people, their families, their employers, their communities. The tax revenue to local governments lost because of missed work. All of the children traumatized because their parents were away from home…or worse, they were separated from their families, and detained themselves.

20.02.2026 00:45 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Or, you could stop using it because Jeff Bezos doesn’t need more of your money to undermine democracy and send his besties into space for shits and giggles.

19.02.2026 23:36 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Trump breaks silence on Kristi Noem’s alleged relationship with top aide President Donald Trump says he ‘had not heard’ about the rumored affair, which both the secretary and her adviser Corey Lewandowski have denied, but pledges he will ‘find out about it’

Love is blind...sometimes because of untreated syphilis.

19.02.2026 03:11 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0