incorrect tokyo revengers

benkei : do you drink?

wakasa : heavily, it’s a source of pride.

baji : why are you anxious all the time?

kazutora : it’s the anxiety.

shion : i’m totally useless.

izana : you’re not totally useless.

izana : you can be used as a bad example.

sanzu : i’m only going to say this once so listen carefully.

senju : i’m only going to listen once so say it properly.

kazutora : i have been forced to do many things i don’t enjoy, like write things down and speak to people.

mikey : we need to talk about our relationship problem.

draken : but, we’re not in a relationship?

mikey : that’s the problem.

sanzu : can you behave?

ran : yes, if i wanted to, but this is so much funnier.

shion : and, once again, shion and rindou save the day!

mucho : you didn’t do anything. it was all rindou.

shion : we’re a package deal. everyone knows that.

inui : money aside, what do you need right now?

koko : the money you just put aside.

inui : how are you so good with pets?

shinichiro : i’ve been taking care of manjiro for years and he only bit me twice.

kisaki : what else are you good at? other than making my life fucking miserable.

takemichi : i can color.

ran : what are you going to do with that?

koko : i am going to kill you.

ran : no, you’re not.

koko : i am.

ran : you’re not.

koko : i am!

ran : you like me too much.

hanma : [watering plants] looking at these plants …

hanma : they’re not that pretty, are they?

baji : no.

baji : neither are you, but you still have the right to live.

kazutora : [laughs]

mikey : “i can fix him” okay, well, i can make him scared of me and hard.

chifuyu : you need to come into work.

kazutora : i have today off.

chifuyu : fuck you, i don’t care.

kazutora : fuck you. i quit.

kazutora : i hope you get eaten by animals.

chifuyu : i’m sending someone to your place to kill you.

inui : we can’t kill them!

wakasa : not with that attitude, we can’t!

wakasa : listen, man, i’ll die, you’ll die, we all die, and now we’re killing them.

wakasa : pay it forward.

sanzu : if you had me alone in a dark bedroom for an hour what would you do.

koko : try to find a light switch.

mikey : here’s why being upstairs is better.

mikey : when we’re downstairs, we have to walk up the stairs to get upstairs. when we’re upstairs, we’re already here.

mikey : [laughs]

izana :

izana : every day is like your first day ever.

akkun : what’s the best way to kill someone?

takemichi : kindness.

yamagishi :

yamagishi : [putting his notebook down] if we’re being stealthy, then potassium cyanide.

yamagishi : otherwise anything from a knife to a bazooka works.

wakasa : [phone starts ringing]

shinichiro : [looking at the contact name] you still call your dad “daddy”?

takeomi : no, that can’t be-

wakasa : [maintaining eye contact with shinichiro] hey, kei.

kisaki : i saved your life! now i can go back to ruining it.

senju : if all else fails, you can marry rich.

yuzuha : i love that we always have that option.

shinichiro : i can’t believe i’m single on valentine’s day.

takeomi : well, you know what they say.

takeomi : rose are red, violets are blue …

shinichiro : don’t.

takeomi : [holding up a bottle] vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

nahoya : do you have a date for valentine’s day?

mucho : yes, it’s february 14.

nahoya :

nahoya : nevermind.

kakucho : [holding up a glass] here’s to heaven or hell and nothing in between.

ran : probably hell, though. i mean, who the fuck are we kidding?

takeomi : you know i care about you.

wakasa : i know you’re full of shit.

takeomi : can’t it be both?

taiju : this is the exactly kind of laugh i needed on a monday.

koko : it’s tuesday, boss.

inui : it’s thursday … ?

rindou : what do you think about spicing things up?

shion : you know i can’t handle spicy food.

rindou : no, i mean in the bedroom.

shion : i can’t handle spicy food anywhere, rin.

hina : my dad taught me that there’s only one way to communicate with a bully.

mikey : i see. and what was his advice?

hina : [hits mikey]

hanma : hey bro, do you have a light?

chrome : bro, you are my light.

hanma : [clutches his heart] bro …

chonbo :