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the surreal dan tynan

@tynanwrites

writer of things. maker of jokes. drinker of beers. nice to meet you.

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Latest posts by the surreal dan tynan @tynanwrites

A package of shield condoms

A package of shield condoms

06.03.2026 03:10 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

β€œAre those people in the room with us now, Peter?”

05.03.2026 22:42 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Total capitulation coming in three… two… one…

05.03.2026 22:40 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Kristi Noem has done a stunning amount of damage and it’s good she’s gone.

But this doesn’t change the fact that we need a complete overhaul of DHS, impartial investigations into the killings of two American citizens, and information on children that were taken from Minnesota.

05.03.2026 19:38 πŸ‘ 39127 πŸ” 8863 πŸ’¬ 1450 πŸ“Œ 294

Nosferatu's idiot nephew is running our country. Just kill me now and get it over with.

05.03.2026 19:20 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Now that Kristi Noem is out of a job she can spend more time at home doing what she loves best. Cheating on her husband and murdering her children’s puppies.

05.03.2026 19:09 πŸ‘ 859 πŸ” 115 πŸ’¬ 25 πŸ“Œ 3

I cannot pronounce this man's name without calling him Markwayne Mullet. I really think he should change it.

05.03.2026 19:18 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' ... oh wait, maybe you can. My mistake.

05.03.2026 19:16 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
still image of John Travolta from the movie pulp fiction.

still image of John Travolta from the movie pulp fiction.

My answer to the @MuckRack Daily trivia question:

05.03.2026 18:23 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Wordle 1,720 4/6

⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜
⬜🟨⬜🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 er by the dozen

05.03.2026 17:44 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Wordle 1,719 4/6

⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 it’s a steal

05.03.2026 06:27 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I think I know what a C*** is. And I’m looking at one.

05.03.2026 06:17 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Post image

A cartoon from the 1950’s that’s more relevant than ever πŸ’”

04.03.2026 14:40 πŸ‘ 19807 πŸ” 8386 πŸ’¬ 344 πŸ“Œ 322
Post image

Release the Epstein Files

04.03.2026 21:22 πŸ‘ 8291 πŸ” 2507 πŸ’¬ 181 πŸ“Œ 72

As if any were needed.

04.03.2026 18:44 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Grifters gonna grift.

04.03.2026 18:43 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I totally agree. I also think requiring naval personnel to wear hairnets while on duty is going too far.

04.03.2026 18:40 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Scientists Reveal the Surprising Sex Lives of Neanderthals and Early Humans A new genetic analysis reveals that human females and Neanderthal males interbred far more than the reverse, for reasons that remain mysterious.

The "surprise" is that homo sapien females were more attracted to Neanderthals than scientists previously thought.

I could have told them that.

www.404media.co/scientists-r...

04.03.2026 18:39 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Wordle 1,718 6/6

⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
⬜⬜🟨🟩⬜
⬜🟩🟨🟩⬜
🟩🟩⬜🟩⬜
🟩🟩⬜🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 and mccarthy

04.03.2026 07:41 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Don't 'strategic actions' generally require strategy?

04.03.2026 01:14 πŸ‘ 32 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

Or, in my case, look totally hot in yoga pants.

04.03.2026 01:13 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

So, in launching a huge bombing campaign on Iran they apparently didn't plan for:

- Who takes over;
- Interceptor shortages from sustained drone retaliation;
- How to defend US bases in the region;
- Threats to ships in the Strait of Hormuz; and
- How to evacuate Americans with airspace closed.

03.03.2026 21:13 πŸ‘ 11147 πŸ” 3467 πŸ’¬ 612 πŸ“Œ 357

Don’t you get it? It’s just 17 dimensional chess. You’ll see, it will all work out in the end. πŸ₯Έ

04.03.2026 00:52 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

For years on my old blog I published the names of servicemembers who died in Iraq & Afghanistan. No other outlets were.

These are the first 4 Americans to die in the Iran War.
Capt. Cody A. Khork, 35
Sgt. 1st Class Noah L. Tietjens, 42
Sgt. 1st Class Nicole M. Amor, 39
Sgt. Declan J. Coady, 20

03.03.2026 23:07 πŸ‘ 8990 πŸ” 2993 πŸ’¬ 428 πŸ“Œ 162

and then they expect a tip! It’s crazy.

04.03.2026 00:50 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I understand you have to reserve massive naval escorts at least two weeks ahead.

03.03.2026 20:30 πŸ‘ 16 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
stock photo of Bruce Willis from the movie β€œthe sixth senseβ€œ.

stock photo of Bruce Willis from the movie β€œthe sixth senseβ€œ.

My answer to the @MuckRack Daily trivia question:

(Spoiler alert: He’s actually dead.)

03.03.2026 20:28 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Absofuckinglutley.

This is news?

03.03.2026 03:38 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Dammit!

03.03.2026 03:37 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Harrison Ford: Life Achievement Award Acceptance Speech | 32nd Annual Actor Awards
Harrison Ford: Life Achievement Award Acceptance Speech | 32nd Annual Actor Awards YouTube video by Netflix

When you have the chance, please take the time to watch Harrison Ford's remarkable, beautiful Life Achievement Award acceptance speech. #ActorAwards

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV_2...

02.03.2026 04:02 πŸ‘ 6212 πŸ” 1446 πŸ’¬ 292 πŸ“Œ 217