Chris Allcock

Poképtialism strikes again.

"I sure do miss the humans!"

There are plenty of clever design decisions in Pokémon Pokopia, but I think my favourite is that the game knows you're going to want to be a homebody early on.

Thus, it gives your gang an "until tomorrow" task and with them all out of commission... might as well see what's through those gates, huh?

Charles Vance is the best Starfleet Admiral.

I want Wart voiced by Patton Oswalt. I will accept no alternatives.

Coming into this cold, it makes all the sense in the world because Mega Man is deathly allergic to spikes.

"I am eternally grateful to you for this opportunity, Mister Writer, and may I say what a pleasant coincidence it is that we have such similar taste in shirts!"

"Didn't we have a luv-ver-ley time, the day we mixed a banger..."

Hardcore mode: the big F1 car is made out of 53 million second-hand Micro Machines.

What would your first Big Art Attack be, and where?

"Cypress Hell... I'm looking in your direction!"

With a different skin, Talos Principle II would have made a damn fine Star Trek game.

That's your teeth wisdom coming in.

"Chris! Chris, wake up!!"

"Snhnznzhh-- uh? What?"

"They're saying it needs a thumbstick, Chris! None among you ever ONCE stopped to think that the game might not actually be finishable without a thumbstick!"

"Ah mate, but what my theory pre-supposes is... we actually DID think of that..."

(TBC)

👀

(As the kids say...)

I try not to swear on here but sometimes it’s justified: fuck anyone who thinks it’s okay to criticise, let alone criminalise, trans people just going about their lives. That driving licence of theirs just burning a hole in your values, huh?

You are disgusting, and history will forget your names.

For what it's worth @altermentality.bsky.social I just tried to reply to you, it said it did, but I can't see it. So...

Bluesky really not helping with that feeling of social media alienation you have!

Let's do a test...

Follow our journey from tossed-off Bluesky post to Game Awards darling by sharing #HippoPot with your friends, and join the HippoPotamassed!!!

I'm thrilled to announce that my next video game will be HippoPot, a Hippotomassively Multiplayer Online game where you and your friends adopt a hippo; grow, build, craft, coordinate, thrive, defile, research, spelunk, and-- well, we'll have more to say about that in the future. Thanks for watching!

And I tell you what, I'm absolutely NOT here for the rising trend of "I asked AI to write this for me; now please can you fix the errors and make it good?"

I don't mind proofing people's work, but I do wish they'd understand that there's a world of difference between a Writer and a professional Editor. Like, one of the all-time greats I know of went to *night-classes* on the subject!

We still don't agree on the Oxford comma, but this is ACCRUED SKILL.

The role of the Editor has been functionally dead since before the pandemic, and it astonishes me. Nowadays when I send copy off, I have to review it when it comes back to correct all of the errors that have been introduced.

Then the Editor sends me social copy, etc. and I have to proof that too. 🙃

Klickbait replaced Kontent who replaced Kolumn; the journalism department didn't have a chance.

K. Rool's 21st-century additions to his band of wrong-doers: Kracker, Katfish, Krypto and Kopyright Klaim.

Hyle's gonna ban us. 😭

Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black, as the anthropomorphic personification of Death, learning about the expression "death and taxes" for the first time and being slightly offended.

Bravissimo. 👏

Then you're already halfway home!

Become wealthy.

Talent is talent! This very day, Stu attempted to consign me to the oddly-specific Silent Hill where the penance is for “annoying comedy voices” but I’ll escape.