🩸🌌🐾 critters ☉∇&

not like you, not like you

the things i dissociate to cope with now are very different than what i did as a kid and teen and young adult and maybe a little more mundane. stressful doctors appointments and world situations vs the ever present abusive eye of parents and peers.

anger comic from cuteo got me thinking about how my own protectors and prosecutors manifest nowadays vs how they did when i was young. and how nowadays i am much more frequently manifesting and splitting off a variety of more joyous headmates and fragments.

honestly feel like i should be more open about and talk more about plural stuff elsewheres bc it really does look a lot different when you are... no longer young, no longer stuck in the home of your abusers, etc.

If you see this post a monster

and that's like. a systemic thing that has little to do with porn and again with things like power, control

the ppl who took advantage of me as an Internet teen / young adult were cis dudes in their 30s who were horny and had worn out women their own age but saw my youth as something malleable into what they wanted it to be.

my sexual abuser in childhood was my own (not a pedophile) mother and her side of the family who were all just cogs in the machine of a long cycle of CSA. she perpetrated it on me to exert power and control and destroy my boundaries around myself.

idk how to say this other than bluntly but when it comes to harm that's been inflicted on me and harm I've seen inflicted on others the perps have been by a large margin. family members or horny manchildren way older than them who lack the ability to relate to ppl around their own age

but bc I reblogged some quad ocs with knots guess I'm an irredeemable animal abuser just like real abusers wanted to try to shape me into. oh now it's cool though. you've seen the light or whatever.

I could have told you all about how groomers attempted to groom me towards actual harmful zoophilia actions (without using feral art at all) and encouraged me to groom other minors for them (without using lolisho at all)

like I'm glad we're trying to shred the handwringing over fiction. that's cool. I could have told you in 2016 that lolishocub had nothing to do with my childhood sexual abuse but you wouldn't have cared and might have even said I deserved it for not being a good enough victim

I also would like for children and animals to not suffer abuse of any type including sexual. can we like, swallow our disgust and develop some discomfort tolerance to actually Do Something About it

like I know it's good that they're getting there but Where Were You. and where are you Now when it comes to supporting paraphilia coping and recovery vs where will you Be in idk 2035 or something

I am a bitter critter who is always seeing the way these people act and talk and how it's so bullshit all the time. it's been a little hard seeing ppl swing so pro fic when I know their asses were accusing ppl of sex crimes like 6 years ago based on fictional interest lol

imagine being verbally anti cop all the time and then immediately reporting your friend to the cops for attraction and thoughts crimes. instead of idk supporting them in being and remaining anti contact and seeking help if they feel they need it and can't control urges etc

and this lefty furry said that they immediately reported them to authorities even though it was something they hadn't acted on and it really just clicked in my brain like yeah none of this actually means anything to people. no one cares about actual harm they care about disgust

I was already pro fic and pro feral at the time but I remember the first time the discourse machine about it started on Twitter and a popular lefty furry poster at the time made a post about how they had a friend who was into feral art and told them they were attracted to real life animals

CW for discussion of sexual assault, threat of violence, self-destructive behaviour and depression.

Please take the warning seriously before reading. Thank you.

Protector #brainbunnies

i have an endocrine disorder that can cause this and it's the only symptom i did NOT get from it which is so unfair

i hope you are being a good dog and nourishing yourself and giving yourself pats and kind affirmations and treating yourself with love and affection and biscuits

Rejection sensitivity

Potty talk

Tetris grand master

Five of a kind

Crying

me and my slurry #myslurry

attempting to summon miss normal with baby badger pic

where dread common awe replaces