Girl with a SpongeBob Tattoo

TODAY…

So patronizing when the dentist patiently explains how to floss. I'm not a baby who doesn't know how to do basic things. I'm a baby who doesn't wanna

Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.

these cabinet announcements are like an advent calendar counting down to the apocalypse

‘You Can’t Let This Happen,’ Says Fundraising Email From Sitting U.S. Congressperson

‘You Can’t Let This Happen,’ Says Fundraising Email From Sitting U.S. Congressperson

Is today done? Feels done. I know i'm done

2 insurrections, same President.

I’m gonna be real I am straight up very concerned about things

i just cannot get over how much the administration’s response to the crash shows a profound disrespect for the lives of the people they are supposed to serve

Sorry I'm just in a really bad place right now (United States)

i'm tired of being told to stop doomscrolling. i'm just scrolling, it's not my fault there's doom on there

President Trump would be well advised to place tariffs on Colombian coffee. The only type that must stay duty-free is Irish coffee.

by Pete Hegseth

America is under attack by the President of the United States

Update: he’s proving to be an excellent distraction and source of entertainment. Everyone needs an emotional support shelter dog to get through these stressful times

Fergus!

Omg so cute!

Adopted a dog from the shelter yesterday in an attempt to distract me from the demise of America, seems to be working so far 🤞🏻

if they want to go back to the 1950s, we’re bringing the cuisine back to the 1950s too. you put me in the kitchen, I will spend 100% of my time in there finding how much horseradish and shrimp I can put in Jello before God personally comes down here to stop me.

I’m torn between wanting to stay informed and wanting to stay somewhat sane

With ICE raids already starting, remember this when you get asked if you've seen anyone they're looking for,

NO
I don't remember
I haven't seen anyone
I don't know
Fuck off

Ok, maybe not the last one, but erase your memory

Be an ally

it’s been three days and people can’t even FIND eggs

CAPTCHA: are you a human

ME: yes

CAPTCHA: oh i am so sorry

This is how you do it...

2025 seems like a good time to start eating Tide Pods again.

Everyone’s worried about the tariffs but I’m just going to start buying everything at airport duty-free stores. I’ll be eating the finest Toblerone and cigarettes for the next four years, suckers!

it’s going to be so much fun when he dies

How does one fall into a coma for 4 years? Asking for a friend.

This