i think mostly im grieving all the time that i thought the bare minimum was all i deserved and im scared of the future where im not at least guaranteed more of the same. feels cowardly, but its the devil i know
what rly makes me sad is that like, the displays of genuine thoughtfulness that hadnt been prompted by me like "i would like if u did xyz" were so few and far between that i started treasuring the tiniest shit. she lit a candle for my bath the other week &i cried bc i felt so seen. actually pathetic
whatever. im done feeling sick
literally if i hadnt have been living off actual crumbs this entire time, trying any way i possibly could to communicate that what she was giving me wasnt enough, the polyamory would have been fine! that shit would not have mattered! go be with whoever idc, but its fucked if im not getting mine too
i just dont understand how there can be such a disconnect in like what showing interest is. no flirting unless i begged for it, no asking me abt things i like unless she was also interested in them, going on a date and she'd just go silent, forgot to get me an xmas present but remembered her gfs!
proof that i was never gonna be able to find the right set of words that would get her to treat me how i wanted to be treated i guess. i just really really wish that it hadnt gone on as long as it did. idk, im mourning whatever kind of happiness i thought i was gonna get after solving all this
put my foot in my mouth when she handed me the divorce papers. tried to say i wish she had just told me as soon as she knew she wasnt interested in me anymore instead of stringing me along and she looked so bewildered. she genuinely thought she was showing interest and not just doing maintenance
u know all the old people would be absolutely locked in on any conversation between u and him too. heinous situation
sorry im giving myself the ick about a guy i just invented in ur replies. mild form of self torture
i just know 70% of zachary's shoes are boat shoes but he doesnt even have a boat. maybe his parents have a boat. but they wont let him drive it even at his big age because he actually has really poor hand eye coordination and wont do anything to improve it
i bet he got his ears pierced in middle school with diamond studs and then someone said it was gay so he took them out and never went back
i bet his name is zachary and he wears polo shirts and khakis
steeling myself against all manner of psychological attacks by turning my worry into productivity
emotional exhaustion is a scam invented by big Nothing to get u to do less More
not a handsome young man who wants to meet you 😭😭
ok i bit the bullet and just applied so i can stop worrying abt losing out on it
worked on some very fulfilling vent art today (not done and i think its gonna be a kinda long term project) which was pretty cathartic but unfortunately now i am feeling a bit Overwhelmed and Soft
where is my heater bypass replacement 🤬 am*z*n if its not here before it gets too dark to work, my blood is on ur hands
SLEPT ON ZELDA GAME
i once spent a week stuck in it bc theres a dungeon where u have to copy a map and i had noooo idea what to do. turns out u had to CLOSE THE DS to like, stamp the map from the top screen onto ur map on the bottom screen. insane mechanic, unmatched ingenuity
my 9 games
yay yippee 🥳 thanks
ohgg, what site did u use to make this spread ! i wanna do it too
leon kennedy if ur reading this i would get u so pregnant and then even pay for a boybortion if thats what u wanted 🫶 #omegarights #imwithHim
of course
did u end up going retro ish look or modern?
yeah 😭 i think im just gonna wait til summer when its not sooo important for me to have a working car and also more daylight. i got rained on the entire time i was doing this
"and scolipede of course" has been my internal catchphrase for days now i hate this sm
🫂
leon kennedy if ur reading this i dont usually enjoy boys but i would hit ur cervix so right pls hit me up on my mobile
i will not attempt to be productive on my car again for a while, this is my solemn vow
ok well i did make my car a lot worse and nearly undriveable but on the brightside, i have a new bypass kit coming tomorrow that'll be super quick to do and also i got a lot of cuts and bruises, which always fixes me
