𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢

😂 also really good for lungs! Enjoy, (sure you will with that history!)

Sounds like way too much fun. Gross

Haha is this a covert competition or have you both acknowledged your need to outsing the other? 😂

The problem (yes there’s a problem) with telling people it’s nice to be nice is that sometimes it isn’t appropriate to be nice and it causes more problem than if you didn’t have to engage yourself in everything as per the dysfunction charter of society but used this mad thing called critical thought

A goofy looking Dalmatian smarling at the camera while spayed out on some moss. She is wearing a blue coat with watermelons on

Doing this face at you

The desperate attempt at humor will continue until the world is no longer so heartless and grim my god it is so grim

bolognese is lowkey unstoppable

🫢oh no, your men’s mental health. Are you okay???

(turning a big rusty crank) let’s fire up another day here on the bullshit machine

BREXIT HAS GONE SPECTACULARLY WELL THANK YOU THERE IS SHIT IN OUR WATER AND ALL OF OUR HARVESTS FAILED DUE TO RAIN BUT WE MUST PUT ON A BRAVE FACE AND EAT THESE GREEN POTATOES AND MAKE BREAD WITH PLASTER DUST IF THE FLOUR FALLS AFOUL.

🩷

Define 'Young'...

War queer goes hard af

No Dr Dan who I call Dr Dan because you’re so young and fun, I don’t want you to examine me or my legs that I didn’t shave since the start of hibernation. I want you to run along and come back with your ugly much older associate or…a ✨woman✨

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

This sounds like a vomit drink

YOU CAN CHECK OUT ANY TIME YOU LIKE BUT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE

*holds your hand while we stamp on everything*

FUCCCCCCCCCK

😍

“It’s not that deep.” It is that deep. I am a well. Lower the bucket

A unicorn in the wild!

[not making eye contact with you]

of course i'm not a reply guy

[sips an earl grey tea quite gingerly]

i'm an rsvp guy

so many people need to be shamed for continuing to do habits in front of others which they should be ashamed of doing even alone. I wish you a big fucking stop it and self awareness, when¿ stop being so bally rancid challenge

I’m down for that 💕

I know exactly what you mean. When you consider we’ve known each other since around 2014/15? Look how much has changed even in that space of time and not really for the good at all 🥹

Ugh when uk added stupid social online laws last year I couldn’t get into my inbox without proving I was over 16, I didn’t want to send anything etc so took the least shit option at the time which was let their ai guess my age. I was in hospital at the time with pipes all over my face so I did it!

Would you mind adding the back of the neck where skin is soft and ready to be scratched to death to this list?🫠

Oh wow, wait until you hear this is hardcore.

I am excited to see 🤗