This is to stop people from shooting up their offices.

So how's everyone enjoying being laid off from EA? You know your owners are sleeping very soundly, counting their bonuses tonight, right?

Is it time for our villain arc yet?

I'm confused. Who's the President? Are we not now under the dictatorship those protesters wanted?

Counterpoint: there has been exactly one successful protest since the March on Washington and it was on January 6, 2021.

There are four phases to a game development career.
1. "Wow, all these people are crazy."
2. "Wow, I've been abused severely. I must be crazy."
3. "No, these assholes are actually crazy."
4. Other people say about you, "Wow, they're CRAZY."

If you're wondering why gaming startups always shoulder their launch titles with generic sci-fi crap IP it's because they think hiring a 7th engineer instead of a 1st narrative designer will make them ship faster and cheaper, never asking if they will ship something that doesn't suck donkey ass.

It's really quite simple. Your average gaming CEO snorted a bunch of coke to make it through business school and has fewer brain cells than a lemur.

Is your livelihood in their hands? Yes. Could you do their job better than them if I just hit you in the face with a shovel? Also yes.

Fun fact: at business school your GPA and IQ are often the same number.

I'm just a zombie
and a game dev
And I'm kind of glad I got bit first

No one has any money to BUY games, brother.

Checking on LinkedIn
And I am just scrolling through
Suicide letters

I have dodged a lot of bullets.
I have also been shot by a lot of bullets.

While my hackles are up, let's talk about how no one knows how to make a game anymore. Too easy to hide when dev cycles are 8 years. Too easy to sit around doing nothing. Too easy to pivot to whatever game 30-year-old Canadians are playing on Twitch this week..

Hey Haddad, how much was your golden parachute? You're going to donate it to these nuked devs who are on the phone right now trying to get their kids on Medi-Cal, right? You incompetent, degenerate clown.

So sad to hear that David Haddad's long vacation pretending to be the head of WBIE is over. It takes a lot of effort to fumble the bag so badly when you've got brilliant developers begging to make games set in Gotham, Hogwarts, Westeros, and Middle Earth, but he sure delivered on the fumbling.

tl;dr EA was clowning when they chose this game's revenue targets. Just like FF7:Rebirth and FFXVI.

I'd reapply through my lawyer.

So sad to hear that David Haddad's long vacation pretending to be the head of WBIE is over. It takes a lot of effort to fumble the bag so badly when you've got brilliant developers begging to make games set in Gotham, Hogwarts, Westeros, and Middle Earth, but he sure delivered on the fumbling.

Elsewhere Entertainment Jobs Elsewhere Entertainment job opportunities, part of Activision. Join our team of talented individuals in creating something groundbreaking.

Hey remember that time Microsoft shuttered whole studios, laid off 2000 game devs, and then spun up a new studio in Europe before the laid off employees had time to find new pediatricians for their kids? Pepperidge Farms remembers (and so do 2000 devs, probably).

careers.activision.com/Elsewhere

Contract Senior Narrative Designer - Bungie Careers At Bungie, we create worlds that inspire friendship. Founded in 1991, we've been doing it for nearly 30 years. Come join us!

How many writers and narrative designers has Bungie laid off since Sony dropped the hammer on them last year? A dozen?

They're trying to turn a career into a gig. If I was one of the laid off writers, I'd sue.

careers.bungie.com/jobs/6404373...

How many narrative designers and writers has Activision-Blizzard laid off since the Microsoft takeover? A dozen?

They're trying to turn a career into a gig.

I must eat CEO brains because they are not used for anything else.