I love my dog but this motherfucker has bitten me a half dozen times bc I dared take something out of its mouth it picked up off the street.
Dogs can be great but they’re not pacifists.
We replaced the cool Batman Senator with this wet turd.
Golden voted no despite not running for reelection.
He just really wants war with Iran for the love of the game.
*your cool kindergartner
Oh you know those them, they’re the same folks who give out drugs to your kids on Halloween.
A dentist office called “Dentist Near Me.”
Lazy name, but I’m sure this works in search engines.
This is gonna end up the “well, that just happened” war until whatever they’re vigorously treating him for finally wins out and then whatever grownups have to follow him are gonna act like a parent who’s kid just broke an expensive vase in a store.
Climate change? What climate change.
Do I put the heat or a/c on this week?
Yes.
Dad’s dad worked in a garment factory.
Mom’s dad was a taxi driver.
Basically my grandpas were the dad from Marvelous Mrs Maisel and Archie Bunker.
Keep going. I can’t wait to see the excuse after “would an antisemite fuck a Jew?”
Say what you will about war. It can produce some incredible photos.
Like this missile that landed near Qamishli Airport.
*real for rich people and defense contractors.
Money is only real for poor people.
If money was real this would be huge.
God you people are fucking insufferable.
And if you can’t trust this guy, who can you trust?
For decades our overly restrictive rules of engagement prevented our military from arbitrarily drowning cooks and maintenance workers.
Sleep sound America. Those days are over.
7/Eleven has lowkey the best cheap coffee.
I was watching videos of people who go around and sweep it up to keep it for the next winter. Free ice melt.
The 2024 Democratic autopsy report may not have been released publicly, but I’ll give you three guesses who has definitely read it.
Kids are gonna grow up thinking this is all normal.
If you’re, like, 18 now, Trump has been in the news every day since you were seven.
They probably wanted to do this last year and had to wait to purge all the folks who would say no.
It’s not often you see someone intentionally draft their own war crimes testimony.
But this isn’t a war. Don’t call it a war.
Omg. Were you 12?
It’s not a China thing.
It’s waaaaaay dumber than that.
It’s Jeb Bush thing.
Oh yeah. That’s why all photos of dead servicemembers are usually in front of a flag.
It’s the war plan you get from a bunch of drunk E-4’s in the barracks on a Friday night, which is basically what this was, but toss in the leadership of General Dwight D Mentia at the helm.
That really should be a thing you get to have a do-over with in case it’s really bad. Dying is bad enough. Dying and then having a photo of you on a bad hair day released to news outlets is so much worse.
