I really wish there was someone in the state of Maine who was a member of the Democratic Party who didn’t have a Nazi tattoo they refuse to be honest about and/or is a full decade into collecting Social Security.
Ah burnt toast, how I missed your smell.
When certain people look back fondly on the late 90s early 2000s it’s not because everything was perfect, but there were certain irreplaceable things we lost over time and lots of diverse newspapers were one one of them.
So the World Cup is gonna be awkward this year.
It’s hard to lose weight in general, but this is the first time since I was in high school I’ve tried to lose weight without cigarettes to curb my appetite.
I don’t have a goal or anything, but I definitely want to get down to whatever seems like a good “can outrun a Philly cop” weight.
65 day weigh-in.
Down 36 lbs.
I love my dog but this motherfucker has bitten me a half dozen times bc I dared take something out of its mouth it picked up off the street.
Dogs can be great but they’re not pacifists.
We replaced the cool Batman Senator with this wet turd.
Golden voted no despite not running for reelection.
He just really wants war with Iran for the love of the game.
*your cool kindergartner
Oh you know those them, they’re the same folks who give out drugs to your kids on Halloween.
A dentist office called “Dentist Near Me.”
Lazy name, but I’m sure this works in search engines.
This is gonna end up the “well, that just happened” war until whatever they’re vigorously treating him for finally wins out and then whatever grownups have to follow him are gonna act like a parent who’s kid just broke an expensive vase in a store.
Climate change? What climate change.
Do I put the heat or a/c on this week?
Yes.
Dad’s dad worked in a garment factory.
Mom’s dad was a taxi driver.
Basically my grandpas were the dad from Marvelous Mrs Maisel and Archie Bunker.
Keep going. I can’t wait to see the excuse after “would an antisemite fuck a Jew?”
Say what you will about war. It can produce some incredible photos.
Like this missile that landed near Qamishli Airport.
*real for rich people and defense contractors.
Money is only real for poor people.
If money was real this would be huge.
God you people are fucking insufferable.
And if you can’t trust this guy, who can you trust?
For decades our overly restrictive rules of engagement prevented our military from arbitrarily drowning cooks and maintenance workers.
Sleep sound America. Those days are over.
7/Eleven has lowkey the best cheap coffee.
I was watching videos of people who go around and sweep it up to keep it for the next winter. Free ice melt.
The 2024 Democratic autopsy report may not have been released publicly, but I’ll give you three guesses who has definitely read it.
Kids are gonna grow up thinking this is all normal.
If you’re, like, 18 now, Trump has been in the news every day since you were seven.
They probably wanted to do this last year and had to wait to purge all the folks who would say no.
