I like describing my current YouTube interest in misleading but still accurate ways to see if anyone can guess.

For example, right now I'm enjoying watching three twinks play hide and seek across Europe.

This makes me hopeful that Zuckerberg might give AI the instruction 'Delete the uggos' and accidentally obliterate Facebook

When a male coworker talks about a recent success I like to compliment them by saying "Wow, beauty AND brains"

"Maybe she's born with it"

Maybe it's none of your fucking business Greg.

Chalamet tell me a story

“What?” cried Gimli, startled out of his silence. “A slutty little corslet of Moria-silver? That was a kingly gift!”

John Rigatoni Ravioli Tolkein

"With a terrible cry the Balrog fell forward, and its shadow plunged down and vanished. But even as it fell it swung its slutty little whip, and the thongs lashed and curled about the wizard’s knees, dragging him to the brink."

Would he though? Tom Bombadil and his slutty little pipe?

If I could go back in time I'd convince JRR Tolkien to let me insert the phrase 'Slutty little' somewhere in Lord of the Rings.

I just found out my daughter puts her friends on hold by putting her phone down next to her laptop and playing music videos.

Guillermo Del Toro knew women would choose the bear decades before it hit popular discourse.

But what about the nuggets currently floating in the Wellington Harbour?

Loving this latest season of Bridgertown.

YouTube ads think I'm a gym fanatic but in reality I'm hooked on the high caffeine powdered drinks they sell on clearance.

For 20 bucks you too can stare calmly into the face of reality itself.

Just think, there was probably a guy we could have killed two hundred years ago and ended up with a world where we're all moderately wealthy and generally horny.

"This next song is about the time a guy drank the last of my booze, gave me some useless poker tips, then rolled over and fucking died." - Kenny Rogers

For you see Odysseus was wise, and had his men plug their ears so that they would not hear the sirens.

And that, Officer, is why I hit that ambulance.

ME: What's a coconut.

THEM: It's a hairy ball.

ME: ....

THEM: Filled with nut meat.

ME: Be for real now.

We did it guys

My wife fell down the tradwife rabbit hole and now she wants to stay at home eating woodchips.

Yet another example of internalised mahogany.

Crushed to log on to the internet to discover that I am, in fact, alive.

A picture of Flynn Rider from Tangled with a whole lot of swords pointed at him in the classic unpopular opinion meme. The text overtop is 'If you're wearing a butt plug, you're not naked'.

Getting back into my meme game

I got ChatGPT mixed up with Chaturbate but I don't plan on changing. These ladies are very informed.

I am the Jet Li of New Year's Resolutions

My New Years resolution is to hunt down and kill everyone with the same New Years resolution as me.

I describe Hozier's music as 'Horny morbid'

In DnD terms Hozier is what you get when the guy who always plays necromancers tries out a bard for a change.

A picture of Lulu from Final Fantasy Ten. She has dark hair, a black dress with fur, and about twenty belts making up the skirt part.

This lady gets it.

I'm no fashionista but I'm pretty sure any outfit can be improved by adding a belt. Which means that outfit can be further improved by adding a belt and so on and so forth until you reach perfection.