ITOC

NOTICE

The Chronolympics operate outside
all existing Olympic charters.

No equivalency is recognized.

INTERNATIONAL TIME OLYMPIC COMMITTEE

This account serves as the public record
for the Chronolympics.

The record is incomplete.

EVENT: Pummel Horse
STATUS: INTERRUPTED
LEADING ATHLETE: ███████
POLITY: PERPETUAL CANADA
ANOMALY DETECTED: LOW GRAVITY
“The horse does not touch the ground again. Recalibrating."

Compiling Wildcode

Agenda item added.
"RE: sudden decrease in gray mass (aggregate)"

The Committee will evaluate this once stability has been established with this Branch and agenda items can be appended.

Future suggestions will be rezeroed until after the next meeting.

Costas's suggestions will be considered in the next appropriate Subcommittee meeting.

We will add this topic as an agenda item for discussion.

This Branch knows about fossil fuels but does nothing about it. Let's try again.

Anomaly detected. Trying new branch.

NIST's time services going down is less about "oh no things are going to break" (we are very resilient to muti-second drift even if people didn't have backups like GPS) and more about "oh no this is a crucial service we are being reminded has multiple underfunded and vulnerable chokepoints"

We are forming a subcommittee to explore options.

Heisenberg rebuffering

Anchoring...
Anomalies detected. Cascade collapse imminent.
Cutting anchor.

Compiling Ticker subroutine

Touchdown 21st century!

Hang on. Something's not right.

Confirmed, we made the approach inverted. Standby for a quick defect report.

Defect report is negative. Punch it one more time.

Stabilized, but this is too early on the threads. Good effort but let's try again.

Load bearing threads identified:
+ Chicxulub impactor
+ Promethean discovery
+ The Collapse
+ Börte Üjin birth
+ 1849 CE Austrian Balloon attack on Venice
+ Super Mario Bros 3 release
+ LHC Run 4 (2031 CE)

Rerouting with appropriate temporal crumple zones.

Initializing. Standby for snapback on the threads.