Sam

Please release the beast so I don’t have to sit through 3 hours of meetings.

Release the Kraken!

“Accountability Doodles” - band name or book of comedy skits?

What’s the over/under on this actually happening?

Squeezing things after today’s leg day at the gym is proving tricky

Thighs are thick today.

It gets bigger????

No. Bring me!

Innocent until found guilty by a jury of his peers!

Unsure if a guy at the gym called me a “faggot” or if he was just singing along to his own music.

I promise, I am happy for my friends. Really!

Why is February always the longest month of the year??

And I cut my finger pretty good cooking dinner tonight. Am I trying to take myself out?

Why am I so broken?

My back seized up this morning when I attempted to put on a shirt. I think this is the end. Farewell!

You’re right, stalkers are very strategic

You’re already the creepy new neighbor

The epitome of birthday cake

You were busy that day and couldn’t make the marketing call.

Buying myself something pretty today so I can feel something besides frustration.

I need to plan one sooner rather than later. And then make it permanent

It just makes good financial sense. It’s basically free!

The best results I get for tattoos, is taking a concept to the artist and they put their own spin on it.

I’m more than just a fuck boy!…actually probably not

Sun buns! Of course the polyglot knows that.

Im more than just a hot body. I bake things too!

Not close enough!

Yea!

OMG, it’s Monday everyone!

Buy yourself something pretty today.