Paxton

Cause I’ve got one phone in my pocket
And it’s apparently not on the lock screen

Has anyone said that the economy crashing is a distraction from his unpopular war yet? That’s a take we could do. That’d get traction on Threads.

One of the funniest things about the conservative idea of American war is that previously we fought too clean and moral, unwilling to fight hard enough. It’s an enduring myth.

But we drenched Vietnam in napalm and agent orange.

We used white phosphorus and torture in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Chin up, Kristi. I’m sure your replacement will be just as awful as you.

Hemmorhoids? That’s patriarchy talk. What about HERmerhoids?

The Western media is bending over BACKWARDS as a propaganda machine for this war.

My wife said “fridge doors stick closed right after they’ve been opened” like this was common knowledge, but it had been left out of my version of the Matrix until she said something and then they patched my OS.

Parents tried to shield their children from being healthy, therefore they got sick.

It’s a fair score, 1% per minute

The most winnable at the time. Second most winnable election in history now.

If she had won she might have found it advantageous for the CIA to arrange for him to have an accident.

This is definitely going to be a huge success and I totally encourage them to spend all of their time and money making it happen.

Usually you space out the DARVO, but we’re just running through the whole list at once.

‘The most bitter news’: Iran reels as more than 80 children reportedly killed in school bombing The building appears to be among many devastated in Trump’s ‘major combat operations’ as long expected attacks arrive

"When weapons come from the US, do they strike us more gently than when they come from the regime’s killing machines?"

"How can you oppose war when Khamenei was evil?"

Simple. If you killed Donald Trump by nuking Washington DC, I would not mourn Trump but I'd still say you're an evil war criminal who belongs in the Hague. It's really not hard.

scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe?

AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe

If you’re an American service member who gets killed in a retaliatory strike, your family can take comfort in the fact that it was done in service of making the host of Celebrity Apprentice feel like a big man for a minute, before he moved on to something else and forgets about this forever

Had to watch the trailer a second time after I got to the end and saw Michael Biehn in the credits. I’m pretty sure he’s in there for about 4 frames.

“just fuckin fight everyone at once lol”
– Sun Tzu

The great thing about liver is you can bury it in the ground and it’ll keep for up to 3 weeks. No need to even cook it, just dig it up and eat it raw right there in your backyard.

Gotta love free market, small government conservatism.

What a stupid thing to say. I didn’t realize you knew everyone else there except me. You happy now? Do I pass your ignorant purity test?

bsky.app/profile/peac...

If only he had done literally anything other than commit genocide while he was President

This is the way, America. Take notes.

Sometimes I like to play pretend, too.

Still from the movie Star Wars Episode 1 showing a Gungan manning a catapult with one of their robot disrupting ball weapons

Launching one of these at the data center

If I were running from the cops, I’d want to be made out of Cholula bottle caps. No one can hold onto Cholula bottle caps.

There is not one single good thing about the new iOS version. Most things are measurably worse.