Paxton

Never mind the guns, the dashes in place of commas in a sentence with several hyphens killed me.

It’s getting to where you can’t even support the opposition party’s illegal wars anymore.

Would love to hear him articulate why we attacked in the first place

War is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength, etc. etc.

Love these early March summer days

We’ll need an updated photo. Putting HOPSICE over the picture of a kid is fucked up.

You know I was beginning to note a bit of that myself

Every YouTube video about any movie with David Strathairn or William Fitchner inevitably refers to them as “that actor you recognize but whose name you’ve never known”

“chainsaw-to-legs” was the most common (though not only) cause of death at the party last year so statistically speaking it was a safe bet.

Surgery? Has he tried horse dewormer?

You're absolutely right. I didn't have a plan for the Strait of Hormuz when I helped plan this war for you. Let me take a look at this contingency for a solution.

/* Claude is pontificating...

Need to go spend 40 years alone in a cave. Brb

Looks to me like he’s giving that cloud what for

Unfortunately, @booker.senate.gov is unavailable for comment because he hasn't vetted your astute position with his corporate, billionaire overlords.

Bro fixing a leaking toilet in a burning house

Can’t quite put my finger on why Vietnam movies are scratching an itch right now. Probably nothing.

a young man is giving a thumbs up in front of a computer screen that says " very cool " Alt: a young man is giving a thumbs up in front of a computer screen that says " very cool "

Newsom “sucks shit” and also he should be the party standard-bearer leading us into the future.

You make the skeets that remind you of the standard times
You make the skeets that remind you of the daylight times

Cause I’ve got one phone in my pocket
And it’s apparently not on the lock screen

Has anyone said that the economy crashing is a distraction from his unpopular war yet? That’s a take we could do. That’d get traction on Threads.

One of the funniest things about the conservative idea of American war is that previously we fought too clean and moral, unwilling to fight hard enough. It’s an enduring myth.

But we drenched Vietnam in napalm and agent orange.

We used white phosphorus and torture in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Chin up, Kristi. I’m sure your replacement will be just as awful as you.

Hemmorhoids? That’s patriarchy talk. What about HERmerhoids?

The Western media is bending over BACKWARDS as a propaganda machine for this war.

My wife said “fridge doors stick closed right after they’ve been opened” like this was common knowledge, but it had been left out of my version of the Matrix until she said something and then they patched my OS.

Parents tried to shield their children from being healthy, therefore they got sick.

It’s a fair score, 1% per minute

The most winnable at the time. Second most winnable election in history now.

If she had won she might have found it advantageous for the CIA to arrange for him to have an accident.