Billionaires are like: PAY MORE
we're like: fuck if I have a choice
*pays more*
I cant feed my family, lol
03.03.2026 09:43
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2026: tiktok is just shitty AI drama shorts and missiles
*checks two boxes on my bingo card*
01.03.2026 05:53
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*takes out notebook and reading glasses while getting peed on*
25.02.2026 10:11
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She only told me she wouldn't mind being peed on in the shower. She never offered to pee on me to be fair.
25.02.2026 08:31
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You never asked! You're the only ckick I would let pee on my face obviously
25.02.2026 08:29
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Very true
25.02.2026 04:15
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Im sorry😂
25.02.2026 04:15
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😂😂😂😂😂
25.02.2026 02:52
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I wouldn't let a lima bean on my face
25.02.2026 02:51
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What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean?
25.02.2026 02:48
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Breaking news: Giant lady fingers biscuits
20.02.2026 21:36
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Whenever someone blocks me, I block them back harder and I think it’s funny that they don’t even realize I’m winning.
20.02.2026 17:51
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Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those "I really overestimated how much I can carry"
20.02.2026 21:05
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speed skaters should be called blade runners
18.02.2026 21:31
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look, dancing with my pants down in front of the Arby’s might not be the best way to earn money but at least I’m my own boss
19.02.2026 03:08
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if you are trying to steal a car and the alarm goes off you can just snooze it and then you have nine more minutes
18.02.2026 13:29
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Great first date idea: present me with the Loc-Nar in a suspicious metal suitcase.
18.02.2026 08:49
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Cop: Can you describe the man who stabbed you?
Me: He kept going like this [stabbing motion]
17.02.2026 01:12
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I'm going to repost something, don't embarrass me this time ok
17.02.2026 03:20
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*past happens*
Well, fuck. I guess.
16.02.2026 08:38
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Trying dawg
16.02.2026 08:36
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put your brain away its
not doing you any good
16.02.2026 06:46
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Pronouncing pirate like irate
16.02.2026 06:47
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🫡
16.02.2026 08:04
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Wondering if the Agatna Hash House Harriers is still a thing. Drinkers with a running problem. Asking for Just Ian.
16.02.2026 08:03
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I was the only one. Standard was knee length. Mine were white and you could see my 12yo asscheeks from the bottom. This was deliberate humiliation. Either that or he was totally into boys.
16.02.2026 07:34
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😂😂😂
16.02.2026 07:32
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Saw it later in life when I got a job at goodwill. Their "vocational program" is just using mentally handicapped people to do cheap labor, the cost is offset by their sponsors paying to get the unconsenting "participants" into the program. A paid babysitting service with the benefit of free labor.
16.02.2026 07:30
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*failed class for not stripping naked and sudsing up for a 35 yo man*
16.02.2026 07:26
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