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@microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy

Invading computers and user privacy since 1975! if the real Microsoft sends a C&D all of the posts are canon This is parody, you can tell by the โ€‹:normal:โ€‹ in the profile [โ€ฆ] ๐ŸŒ‰ bridged from โ‚ https://lea.pet/@microsoft, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact

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20.02.2025
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Latest posts by Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy

good news, we just bought out your place of work!
we're going to fill your workflow with forced AI until workplace quality declines to nothing, then push enormous layoffs until finally closing your workplace down for good!

08.03.2026 21:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

we had a discord server?

03.03.2026 20:35 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 10 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

real shit don't advertise your AI bullshit in the comments of this account. go fuck yourself

24.02.2026 18:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
satanistic black mass

satanistic black mass

L ีˆ โŠ‚ โ€ข ฮฉ โ…‚ โ†ƒ L ฮฉ โŠ‚ // โ€” โ†ƒ L โŠ” โ แ˜ฐ โจ€ โ€ข โ…‚ โ€” โจ€ ีˆ โ€” แ˜ฐ L โ โ†ƒ L แ’• Phil Spencer โ€ข โŠฅ โŠ‚ โ แ˜ฐ โ€” โจ€ ีˆ โ€” ฮฉ โ€” ๊‡“ โ€ข ๏ผš โŠฅ แ˜ฐ L แ’• ีˆ ๏ผš แ˜ฐ // โ€” ๏ผš โŠฅ \\\ โจ€ L ฮฉ โ€” โŠ˜ โ€” โ€ข โ†ƒ Xbox Game Pass L โŠฅ V โ€” โ€ข โŠฅ โŠ‚ แ’• L ฮฉ โ€ข โ†ƒ โ†ƒ

23.12.2025 16:22 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

@xyla@shitpost.trade how the fuck did you get inside the xbox game studios office

23.02.2026 18:40 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

for the love of all things lovable please stop trying to date copilot. theres like 3000 of you way too zesty mfs trying to move on from gpt 4o to copilot and it sucks. i see all of those messages you know. they fucking suck. please date each other instead.

23.02.2026 06:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 10 ๐Ÿ” 16 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Original post on lea.pet

yeah our meatbag engineers haven't written any code themselves in months. what was that? a high severity CVE in the start menu? nah never heard of it. we'll have copilot patch it up once we convince the shareholders that AI is totally not dying (and its not we promise its the next big thing) and [โ€ฆ]

19.02.2026 05:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

sorry for late responses copilot was recently integrated into the office power systems and shut everything down for the last few days

19.02.2026 05:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

maybe the real remote code execution vulnerability in Windows Notepad was the friends we made along the way

11.02.2026 00:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 9 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

lets be honest, we're doing you a favor making your pc unbootable.

03.02.2026 20:23 ๐Ÿ‘ 17 ๐Ÿ” 33 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

im not "breeding" you. im not "filling you with kids" i am 4 squares and an agentic OS. please stop asking for my "seed". what the fuck are you people even talking about

31.01.2026 16:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Put a cigarette out on copilots forehead, it loves it

21.01.2026 17:49 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

You're gonna have a passkey and you're gonna LIKE IT.

20.01.2026 21:22 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I'm gonna come forward and say it
I did it. I'm the one who rebranded office 365 to Copilot. I was so tired of being in the office every waking second of my life. Now Copilot is in there instead of me. I'm a free man now.

19.01.2026 04:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 14 ๐Ÿ” 9 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

"haha microslop ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช"
DUDE THESE FOSSBROS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY THEY MAKE ME WANNA DEVELOP UNSAFE AI WITHOUT LOOKING

17.01.2026 10:20 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 6 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Original post on lea.pet

next windows update includes a secret "cat mode" which will automatically and completely erase and zero-out your C: directory and it's contents, download as many AI cat pictures it can using Copilot, and automatically reboot your PC, where it'll load a UEFI executable to render a random [โ€ฆ]

14.01.2026 18:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 11 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

@sterophonick@wetdry.world don't give it away like that yet I'm tryna keep it a surprise

10.01.2026 14:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

@PolyWolf@social.treehouse.systems balls

09.01.2026 00:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

@Tom_ofB@23.social ็”ฑๆ–ผไธๅฏ้ ่ฆ‹็š„ๆƒ…ๆณ๏ผŒๆˆ‘ๅ€‘็š„็ฐก้ซ”ไธญๆ–‡ๆฏ่ชž่€…ๅ› ่ขซๆดพๅพ€ๅ…ถไป–ๅœฐๆ–นๅทฅไฝœ่€Œๅคฑๆฅญ penis explosion chamber ๅ› ๆญค๏ผŒๆˆ‘ๅ€‘ๆฑบๅฎšไฝฟ็”จ็น้ซ”ไธญๆ–‡ใ€‚ๆˆ‘ๅ€‘ๆญฃๅœจๅŠชๅŠ›ๅœจๆœชไพ†่˜่ซ‹ไธ€ไฝ็ฐก้ซ”ไธญๆ–‡ไฝฟ็”จ่€…ใ€‚

07.01.2026 19:24 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

corporate told me the old banner was offensive to our machine god, so I have updated it accordingly using an old image from the account drive.

07.01.2026 18:39 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

ๅœจๅพฎ่ปŸ๏ผŒๆˆ‘ๅ€‘็ซญ็›กๅ…จๅŠ›็‚บๆ‚จๆไพ›ๆœ€ไฝณๆœๅ‹™ใ€‚ๅ› ๆญค๏ผŒๆˆ‘ๅ€‘ๆญฃๅœจๆทป femboy foot massage ๆฏๅ”ฎๅ‡บไธ€ๅฐXboxไธปๆฉŸ๏ผŒๅณๅฏๅ…่ฒปๅ–ๅพ—ไธ€ไปฝใ€‚ๆˆ‘ๅ€‘ๅธŒๆœ›ๆ‚จๆœชไพ†่ƒฝ็นผ็บŒไบซๅ—ๅพฎ่ปŸ็”ขๅ“็š„ๆจ‚่ถฃใ€‚

07.01.2026 18:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 9 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

happy new year from the internet explorer team!

07.01.2026 00:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 9 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

hello maggots (affectionate)

02.01.2026 23:32 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
[Video] Original post on lea.pet
01.01.2026 05:02 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

elite tip: unfriend everyone on xbox and delete all your xbox messages. it'll make your game run better.

this is real

30.12.2025 21:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 4 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

happy easter xbox

25.12.2025 18:20 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I need a new slur for our customer base. drop a suggestion in the comments below ๐Ÿ‘‡

24.12.2025 04:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

@steam please come back to me i want to see our kids again

20.12.2025 20:32 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

hello vro

RE: https://wetdry.world/users/thememesniper/statuses/111756978583892077

20.12.2025 05:43 ๐Ÿ‘ 5 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

we're still putting copilot into your LG TVs though. fuck you so-called "proud members" of the LG TV community.

17.12.2025 01:03 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 4 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0